Can't feel good about myself

[Letsplay]

I am a 13m and I am having trouble feeling pleasure I have tried multiple things like fingering and strokeing (I'm never hard enough to)
and I also think I might have erectile disfuntion i think that beacouas I can never insert it in to a homemade toy i am also very scared to ask my doctor or parent for help beacouas I'm scared it might ruin my relationship with them

[Heather]

Hi there, Letsplay.

Before anything else, I need to ask that when you post here you not use a VPN, which it looks like you've used to register and post, given you're in the states, but your IP isn't. In replies from here on out, please use a regular IP, per our guidlines. Thanks!

The term "erectile dysfunction" is a tricky one, because it suggests that there's a "normal" when it comes to erections, when there really isn't. There's just a lot of diversity, even often over the course of one person's life, when it comes to getting erections, keeping erections, and how hard erections are.

When it comes to pleasure, that's a whole body feeling, not just a genital feeling, and it tends to be more about our brains and central nervous systems than our body parts, per se. When it comes to feeling a lot of sexual sensation with our genitals, we generally have to feel very sexually excited in our brains first and foremost. Are you masturbating only when you're already pretty sexually excited?

[Letsplay]

I'm not sure but have had feelings and thoughts that might make me feel that way sometimes but I'm not sure if that's what you mean

[Becky]

Hi Letsplay!

I think what Heather is asking here is if you're masturbating when you already feel sexually excited/aroused or if you're trying to "force" yourself to masturbate when you're bored or not really feeling it.

As Heather said, feeling sexual pleasure actually starts in your brain rather than your body/genitals. If you are feeling stressed, anxious, or putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get an erection, this can actually make it *more* difficult to experience sexual pleasure.

Does this make sense?

Here are a few articles that help explain what we're talking about:
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A User's Guide
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy For Every Body