How to have a vaginal orgasm???

[Tealscarf]

I think I've been mistaking squirting for an orgasm, or is it an orgasm? How do vaginal orgasms feel? Have i already achieved them? If not, how do I achieve them? I know most orgasms can be done my stimulating the clit but I'd like to experience vaginal ones.

[Heather]

Hi again, tealscarf.

So, the thing is, there's no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Or a clitoral orgasm. Or a breast orgasm, a nose orgasm, an elbow orgasm, or any other kind of body part + orgasm. These ideas are very outdated, and in sex education and sexology, we have known that for a long time. It's why, when you read our content about orgasm on the site here -- do you know how to search for content on the site for answers? If not, holler and I will show you how to do it best -- you won't ever hear us using those frameworks and you'll even find us correcting people who do in some of the advice columns.

Orgasm is something that, instead, happens primarily in our brains and central nervous systems. We can feel the effects of orgasms in some of our body parts, and we can experience orgasm due to stimulation of any number of body parts, but it's the stimulation that tends to feel the most different, in terms of where and how we do that, rather than the orgasm, exactly. And no matter what, orgasm isn't something that happens genitally, even though we can feel some of it in those parts when it happens.

That all said, orgasm can feel different if, for example, someone is only focusing on their external clitoris than if and when they are also adding things like vaginal and internal clitoral stimulation. So, if and when you want to see how that might feel for you, you do that by adding stimulation to those areas, that's all, be it with a toy or a partner (one's own fingers often aren't the best way for vaginal stimulus, because the fact that your hands and fingers are attached to an arm that is limited due to being attached to the side of you and only being so long), depending on what you want and what your opportunities are.

Make sense?

If not, here are a few articles that talk about this or explain the way this all really works, rather than using outdated ideas like "vaginal orgasm" or "clitoral orgasm':
• With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body -- this explains the role of the brain and central nervous system in orgasm and why they have the starring roles
• Intercourse questions and answers to the third power -- this one talks about how these aren't accurate frameworks
• The Clitoris, the Vagina and Orgasm: Feelings and Frameworks - so does this one
• I can't orgasm from intercourse and it's ruining my relationship!