Pregnancy from precum?

[violetm]

Hi so i’ve been a bit stressed lately on this matter. I am very new to this part of life and have been experimental with my ex ranging from like handjobs, fingering, dryhumping, but no sex, but 2 Saturdays ago I was participating in these activities and we ended up humping bare. I assume that he had precum and he had made slight contact with my private part but not go in entirely or any penetration (we didn’t do this for very long probably about a minute as i got nervous). I know that the possibility of me becoming pregnant from his precum has little to no probability but I’m still stressed over the fact especially that over the past 3 ish days I have been getting spotting that I know has the same signs as implantation bleeding. I have a very irregular period where I’ve missed a month before so it’s very hard to track my period but I assume that I would have been supposed to get it recently and i have also experienced spotting before due to my irregular period. Also during the time of our hangout I’m pretty sure that I was either in my ovulation phase or near the end of it which i thought would make my matters worse. I’m just unsure what to make of this situation and if the stress could possibly just be further delaying my period?

[mikky]

hey violetm, welcome to the boards!

Your suspicion that stress could be further delaying your period is much more likely to be the culprit than implantation bleeding from a pregnancy. As you have an irregular period, and aren't able to track consistently, we really don't know that you were ovulating, or even that your period is necessarily late and not, say, a very light period.

Here's why I am not concerned about the sexual activity you described:
Slight contact with a penis and a vulva, where the partner with a penis does not ejaculate on the vulva, in the vagina, or near the vagina, is not the right conditions for a pregnancy to occur. I think you might benefit from reading how a pregnancy does happen: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide. To be clear, genital to genital contact with no barriers is not something that is free of risk- it poses a risk for STIs, and we know that ejaculation can happen somewhat unpredictably, or one activity (like, frottage) becomes another (like, penis-in-vagina sex). So while this specific situation sounds extremely low risk and you are not pregnant, if you are enjoying these activities, you can add some measures for pregnancy and STI prevention: a condom could come in handy here!

It sounds like this is all feeling new and overwhelming to you. Can we check in on whether you are enjoying these activities? Are they feeling good? It sounds like this person is now an ex, are you continuing a sexual relationship while broken up?

[violetm]

Hi mikky, thank you for your response and the article it has definitely relieved some of my stress. Though would the response be different if his private part was near the vaginal opening, or would that still be considered the vulva?

I am indeed a bit nervous to explore more into this part of myself but I’ve been learning gradually. About us being exes, is it common for this to bring more tension during intercourse as him and i have attempted with protection, but it was as if my body was refusing to allow him to enter and caused discomfort for me, ultimately making us stop trying. Is it possible that I feel this way because I am a virgin or do you think it could be something similar to vaginismus as it’s very difficult and uncomfortable for me to even put a tampon in or anything for that matter. I do have to say though that I get nervous and in a way put a guard up uncontrollably thinking that it will hurt and I think this may be causing more tension for me overall as well. So could it simply be that I am just too tense or nervous in the moment? I’m not sure what to do about this because in my mind i feel comfortable with the situation but it seems like my body disagrees.

[char]

Good to hear that Mikky's response was helpful! As for your question, it still doesn't pose a risk for pregnancy, but as Mikky said, there might be a STI risk involved. If this was the case, would it be possible for you to get tested?

I can't say there's any statistic that backs the phenomenon that sex between exes would be more tense than with between people who are romantic partners. But if you've had some conflicting thoughts about your ex and/or stress from other things, that can definitely affect your mood and focus during sex. Could you tell us more about this dynamic between you and your ex? How do you feel about him--is he a safe person to be around with?