Precum on fingers and condom.

[juv]

Hi. On September 21 me and my boyfriend js wanted to take each others virginities we failed so he took off the condom. We both wore back my clothes but my concern is that there may be precum on his hands and a few mins later he tried to finger me. 3 days later we tried it again which is on 24 September. We did foreplay first and then we tried doing it again 3-4 hrs ago he masturbated and peed. He then wore a condom his tip went in me and broke my hymen which led me to bleed. we then took a break he removed the condom wore his pants and threw it away. 10-15 mins later we decided to try to put his penis fully into me. we thought it did until a week later i told him i could not feel anything and he said it could have just been rubbing me. My fear is that there may be precum on his fingers and him touching the condom w precum which could let me have risk of getting pregnant. i cant rely on periods as it may be delayed as im stressing but i have pms symtoms rn too.

[Straif]

Hi juv,
If I'm hearing you correctly, your genitals never came into direct contact without a condom? If that is the case, then it significantly lowers your risk of pregnancy. Condoms aren't 100 percent effective, so it is good to have a backup method of birth control if possible. What I don't think you need to worry about is precum transferring from his hand to the condom to your genitals. You are correct that sperm can be found in pre-ejaculate, but sperm are actually pretty delicate cells that don't often survive being transferred across multiple surfaces. (In other words, if it wasn't noticeably present on his hand, then it's not likely to be a concern.) Because you did have genital contact, even with a condom on, there is a small risk of pregnancy, so if your period doesn't show up, you can take a pregnancy test once you are 14 days out from the sexual contact that concerns you. You can find out a lot more about birth control, pregnancy tests, and what can or can't get you pregnant here.

Since it sounds like you're both really new to this, I am going to share a couple of articles that will help you both stay safe AND make sure your future encounters are pleasurable for everyone.

Yield for Pleasure

With Pleasure: A View of Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

Sexual Response and Orgasm: A Users Guide

Ready or Not: The Sexual Readiness Checklist

20 Questions About Virginity

[juv]

Hello! been reading some articles here and there! Im unable to get birth control pills as I do not want my parents to find out and we will not be having intercourse again till we're married! since u said that that's a relief but my only concern is the precum during 24 September when we both wore back clothes and 10-15 mins later we try again. I read that precum can dry during that time period and he said he didnt see any cum. He said he put the condom correctly. what im scared is that there will be precum on his hands and touching the condom when rolling it down. . After he assumed rubbed me he came but he pulled out and came 2 seconds!

[juv]

Hello this is me resubmitting as it was 2am when i posted that so he says he didnt see any shiny or anything and his penis was dry but I'm scared there may be a bit of precum and he touched it and also is it better to take the test 14 days after or 21 days after? And im also curious if i can get pregnant on 21 September about him removing the condom and wore back his pants and a few minutes later touching my vagina.

[Sofi]

Hi juv,

As we explained, sperm cells don't survive long outside an optimal environment such as outside the body. Even 5 minutes is too long for there to really be any risk. Here's an article that explains more about how pregnancy happens:
Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide

[juv]

Hi thank god because its 5am and i had to go to the toilet to pee 3 times with each time getting lesser and lesser and i felt like vomitting but nothing came out

[char]

Hey juv, how are you doing at the moment? Feel free to respond to this once you have the mental capacity to do so.

[juv]

Hi! my sore boobs are slowly going away. I have on and off cramps since a day after the protected sex on Thursday. I wouldnt call it sex as the first time his tip went in and the second time 10-15 mins base on my original post he was just rubbing on me since i didnt feel anything. My needing to pee is gone and I just felt bloated. Still kind of scared I'll be pregnant because of the precum.

[char]

Thanks for filling us in. Here (and many other sexuality education platforms, really), we use "sex" to refer to a wide range of activities, not just vaginal intercourse/penis-in-vagina sex. As Straif and Sofi have shared last night, pre-ejaculation can't cause pregnancy to happen. Just to be sure, have you read the articles they gave you?

Also, have you been able to eat proper meals and drink enough water? We can also help you work through this anxiety, if you'd like.

[juv]

Hi yes! I dont usually eat breakfast since I wake up around 12pm. I dont drink enough water as I've been drinking pineapple juice and papayas to get my period. While eating lunch i did drink some water today. Reading reddit posts from people getting pregnant with a condom made me feel abit uneasy and I've read it can cause pregnancy from precum. Taking it in regards that precum can die in the air makes me feel relieved but with my period still not coming i feel abit uneasy. I just went to the toilet and ive seen some discharge. other then that i have abit of cramps and abit of breast pain. Yes I have read the articles yall provided and i feel appreciative of that! I'm less stressed out!

[char]

That's good to hear--I hope you could continue eating and drinking well. I'm also glad that the articles Straif and Sofi gave you were helpful!

Checking out general online platforms like Reddit can definitely be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they can provide useful tips and support from others, but on the other hand, it's not uncommon for the info users share to be inaccurate, and reading them would only exacerbate our anxiety. What are other activities you've been doing to lessen your anxiety?

[juv]

I've been playing games to take my mind of it but overall I cant. Every small symptom I have is the same as early pregnancy. I can't be pregnant. We used condoms and his penis didnt go in fully only the tip went in which broke my hymen. The second time he was just rubbing while trying to fit it in which he cant which made him remove hsi protected penis and ejaculate 2 seconds later.He made sure to put on the condom properly and correctly. My parents are strict and im worried. Ive talked to my mother she said I wouldnt be but I'm still worried after my sexual encounters on 21 and 24 September.

[char]

I see. It sounds like you know that you're likely not pregnant, but you're still worried about your own circumstances. Let's see what we can do to unpack them.

First of all, you might benefit from learning that the hymen isn't something that can be broken; it's a very flexible tissue in the vaginal entrance. There's something we can discuss about your partner's penis not being able to enter your vagina (even if you're not planning on having vaginal intercourse anytime soon), which often happens when the vagina isn't lubricated enough. But yeah, the hymen (or the vaginal corona) isn't as brittle as fad science makes it to be; you can read about it in these articles: My Corona: The Hymen & the Myths That Surround It and 20 Questions About Virginity: Scarleteen Interviews Hanne Blank.

What you're experiencing physically, while it can be seen as signs of pregnancy, don't necessarily indicate that you might be pregnant. In a few days, as Straif said, it should be possible for you to take a pregnancy test and see that you're not pregnant, if you don't get your period. If you got your period, you should be fine. Would you be able to at least get a pregnancy test on your own? You also mentioned asking your mom about this--how did you tell her? How would they be able/unable to help if they knew you were pregnant?

Lastly, have you been able to talk about your boyfriend about your worries? How has he been helping you going through this?

[juv]

Yep my bf has been. I deleted reddit apart of those im bloated and i feel liquids in my throat im not sure if its bloatness or nauseas as i dont feel like vomitting. Im able to get a test when the days come. I thought my hymen broke as after his tip entered me he and i saw blood. My father has depression and has been getting better and i do not wish for him to find out. NOW, i js want reassurance that i would not get pregnant from this as the more ppl ask me these type of if u were pregnant makes me feel worse

[char]

I see. I apologize for any discomfort you've felt from my questions, I'll keep that in mind. I'm also sorry to hear that your father has been in a rough place, and I wish his recovery well!

Considering that we (as well as your mom) have given you some pointers that pregnancy is very very unlikely here, I wonder if waiting until you can get a pregnancy test is something we can do here. Maybe the next few days would feel gruelling, but there's only so much we (yourself included) can do in the meantime to assure you that you're not pregnant. Aside from getting enough food and water, I hope you're also able to do other things to make you gradually feel better or at least not as crappy, like moving your body with your capacity in mind, engaging with/consuming your favorite media, and so on. Would that be doable?

I'm also letting you know that my shift is ending soon, so you probably won't get a reply from me until next Monday. That said, another staff/volunteer could definitely get to you in the meantime. Take care! ;;

[juv]

Ive read on reddit people only get pregnant by precum through P.I.V which is not protected in my case neither of us saw precum. on google it says it is likely to get pregnant and another says its unlikely chat gpt also says it is not a realistic route either. Im at a lost as every single thing feels like early pregnancy. im more calm talking to many people but at night i be spiralling.

[Anya]

Hi juv,

I know it can be very tempting to keep sexual health information through Reddit or ChatGPT, but im glad you're here as well because the recommendations we give you are going to be informed, tailored responses to your specific situation given by entirely real people all with extensive knowledge on pregnancy and risk. Char previously suggested that you take a pregnancy test. Have you done this since then? And if not, is it something you would consider? We can only help you so much and at this point I think you would benefit more from taking a test and trying to take it easy than searching online for answers that might keep you spiraling. Let me know if this seems doable for you.

[juv]

Hi! im wondering if im able to get a very accurate answer for pregnancy test on day 20 Instead of day 21? also I've seen online there r many false negatives and positives. Idk the difference between red or blue dye. with so many false negatives and with trust issues like mine idk what to use.

[Anya]

Hi juv,

One day is not going to change the results, but I do understand your distrust. I would take a pregnancy test when you can, read the leaflet it comes with for the specific information on how to tell its results, and then feel free to come back here and we can talk about the results. We are confident in your very low risk of pregnancy from what you have described, so the chances that this info + a negative pregnancy test brings your risk to be very very low. I know it can be difficult to soothe yourself in this headspace but do what you can to stay off forums, ChatGPT, and social media in this regard as it really will likely only stir distrust.

[juv]

Hello! My boyfriend doesnt know if he rubbed me or enter me.
"i try put in i feel the same thing i felt the first time i use my hand to see if its in then its not it was just rubbing on u then i keep trying when i thought it was in u i felt nothing then i pull out and feel nothing also" these r his words we don't know if he entered me or not does it change the answer of it being very low?
also i was bloated and my stomach is feel w air snd i feel something coming up my throat + i have phlegms and i puked...im not sure if this is morning sickness or normal puking.

[Andy]

Hi juv,
I’m sorry to hear you are still feeling unwell. Were you able to get the pregnancy test and take it?
At this point I think seeing that answer can bring you some relief from this anxiety. Unlike asking here over and over again, which is more likely to just keep you in the anxiety cycle, which itself can make you feel really crummy.

[juv]

Hi its not 14/21 days yet so i cant so my only question now is that will the answer be very very very low if its inserted in me as me and my boyfriend aren't sure he was rubbing me w a condom (which we are scared there are tiny bit of precum as he said it was invisible) or inserting in me fully. also puked but unsure if its due to stress.

[KierC]

Hi!

It seems we’ve answered this question for you before, and as Anya said, it actually does more work to keep you in an anxious state to continue the cycle of reassurance-seeking. We have a quick and easy guide to seeing the pregnancy risk of certain activities, which you can find here: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/can-i-g ... r-pass-sti

If you scroll down through the article to the different activities you described, you’ll see there’s no risk of pregnancy without direct genital-to-genital contact. That means indirect contact with pre-ejaculate, like you’re describing, does not pose a risk to pregnancy.

I can understand, though, if you’re experiencing anxiety about this that persists past initial education and reassurance.Do you feel like you’re particularly struggling with anxiety about this? If so, want to talk a bit about how we might be able to link you up to some anxiety and mental health resources?

[juv]

Hi. I just got my period. Im curious to know what's the difference between implantation bleeding and period as there are many tiktoks in my fyp saying they got pregnant and still have their periods every month. and mentioned its similar to their periods + lasting 3-7 days with a heavy flow as well. Other then that they said it happens around 10-14 days after sex which makes me worry.

[KierC]

Hey!

Yeah, TikTok is so filled with misinformation and horror stories about pregnancy, I’m really sorry it’s got you worried :/ Implantation bleeding will not look like a regular period. If you’re experiencing regular bleeding that persists a few days, and it’s come around the same time as your period is due, you can bet that’s your period. Too, as a reminder, the activities described do not pose a risk to pregnancy.

Did you have any thoughts about what I said re: anxiety?