Penis sex toys

[Eli_314]

Hello -

I am a 20 year old male, and I just received a penis vibrator that I ordered and unfortunately, it does not offer the pleasure I hoped it would. At worst, it’s a good vibrator that I think maybe I’ll find pleasurable in some way besides my penis, but it still wasn’t what I was hoping for.

I don’t blame myself because it was my first time buying, it looked appealing online and you don’t know until you try. I just wanted to check in and get some help because I want to find myself the right toy. I already spent $45 on this one and I want to get what I’m looking for without having to spend endless amounts of money.

The toy I have right now is silicone and is quite loose, thin, wobbly and not very firm which is why I think I find it underwhelming. It’s firmer on top but that parts not insertable. And it’s mainly meant to vibrate the head but also covers about half the shaft.

Sex is really important to me. Pleasure is really important to me. I just want to be able to relax after a long day, let a vibrator pleasure me and bring me to orgasm. And honestly, I think I deserve that. I’m able to orgasm and ejaculate when I stroke my penis with my hand. Do they make penis vibrators that cover the whole shaft, are firm on the outside, don’t have a vulva or mouth shaped entrance and don’t cost $200? Also, I’m afraid to mess with returns because I fear that returning a sex toy would reveal things I want to stay private. Would love some help.

Thank you!

[mikky]

Hey there,
A lot of your questions I think would be best for an in-person sex toy store! I highly, highly encourage you seek one out, where you can touch and examine products more thoroughly, and ask folks these questions who specialize in products themselves.
I think, too, that it might be worth noting that you've been doing a lot of searching, thinking, and asking about this in a short amount of time. While that's totally ok, because toys cost money, and because pleasure isn't something we need to have on demand, you might find it helpful to slow down and explore a bit more- both physical exploration, and a bit of mental exploration about what pleasure means to you.

[Eli_314]

Thank you!

[Eli_314]

I’m just a little concerned because like I’m not ashamed of my appeal to sex toys, but I feel a little weird going to a store where people will see my face and stuff. And like what if run into someone I know or something, that’d be super awkward. I think you’re right that going to an in person store would be ideal but I’m just concerned about a couple things. I couldn’t even imagine my reaction if I run into someone I know at a sex store.

[mikky]

Let's say you DID run into someone you knew at a store that specialized in sex toys. Why would they be there? Presumably, also to look at sex toys, right?
It would also be pretty random to run into someone you knew there, unless you know a LOT of people, and if you and those people all frequented the same sex toy store. Unlike a corner store or grocery store or really good restaurant, people don't tend to visit sex toy stores daily/weekly/monthly. So the likelihood is just... much lower. Looking for a place that emphasizes non-judgement, has a really welcoming energy, and knowledgeable employees can also help. As someone who has intense anxiety, I often panic walking into any old store, and you can bet that it gets way worse if I want to ask a question or need help. But a lot of stores that specialize in sex toys also specialize in the kind of nervous, maybe a bit ashamed, awkward way that some of us show up.
You might start by seeing if a local store has a website that you can peruse. Some will write detailed guides or descriptions on different products.

[Eli_314]

Thank you

That helps a lot. I’m just disappointed I didn’t get what I wanted out of my last purchase. Im just afraid that what I’m looking for doesn’t exist. There’s nothing I’d love more than to be able to come home when I’m tired to my bed knowing I have a penis vibrator that will make me feel really, really good. It genuinely matters quite a bit to me.

Everything I’ve seen online so far doesn’t quite seem to be what I’m looking for. I found a local stores website that seems nice. They have a small selection online for male penis vibrators/strokers but maybe they’ve got more in store? I’m hoping so

[mikky]

I think if you're feeling a really significant sense of disappointment, and putting that much value on this specific idea, taking a beat might be the way to go.

[Eli_314]

Yeah, I don’t want to make any impulsive decisions out of disappointment. I appreciate your advice!

[Heather]

Eli!

Minneapolis has one of THE BEST sex shops staffed by some of the most wonderful people in the world. They are also very supportive of Scarleteen as well as the whole community in Minneapolis: they recently literally got a peace award for what they did during the ICE takeover in Mpls.

It’s called Smitten Kitten, it’s right in the middle of Uptown (I lived in Mpls for a handful of years), and I absolutely promise you they will be helpful. You can shamelessly ask for what you want: they’ve got you, I promise!

[Eli_314]

Thanks heather! Yeah, that’s the store I found online and was thinking about. Good to know that is has your approval!

[Straif]

That's great to hear, Eli_314! We're always here to help if you have questions in the future.