Suicidal friend

[jenny01]

Hey I need advice.

So I wrote a post a long time ago about being stuck in the middle between my friends who were dating. Well they broke up. I was there for both of them.

My guy friend ghosted me after they broke up. But then a few weeks later he texted me. He was really lonely and I wanted to make him feel better. So, I talked with him a lot. He wanted to talk to me when I didn't have my phone, so he got insta so he could talk to me even more. He told me he would do anything for me. He told me he enjoyed talking with me. He started flirting with me. He told me he wanted to cuddle and talk with me. He told me he loved me. I told him I didn't like him like that. We kept talking. He was really depressed about his break up still(it had been like 3 months). I asked him about his future and what he wanted to do(like school or work). He told me he didn't want a future. I thought he was just saying that bc of his break up. I tried helping him move on, but he did nothing. Then one day he got really angry at me, yelling at me about how he couldn't trust me. I was really confused, bc all I ever did was try to help him. I ended up telling him we needed to take a break. We didn't talk for a month.

One day, my mom was talking about how on the news she saw that some kid committed suicide. It got me thinking. I thought my guy friend might be suicidal. Then I thought nah that's stupid I'm prolly wrong. Then one day, I asked my friend who broke up with him, and she said she agreed. She thought he might of been even when they were dating. So I asked my sister and she agreed too. I told his mom that I thought he might be suicidal and she was pissed at me. She said he was fine. She sent me a big long text trashing me and his ex gf.

My mom was gone when I told my guy friend's mom this. I told my mom the sitch when she got back. She said that based on stuff I had told her previously about our conversations, she thought my friend was suicidal too. I told her about what his mom said too and my mom said just to not talk to his mom. My mom was mad at his mom bc she kept texting me when my friends broke up and she kept blaming me for stuff. My mom said to wait a week and just text him how he was doing later.

So I did. He didn't answer. So I waited another week. I asked him if he was ok. He didn't answer.

Then one day I got a text and it said no. I was really confused bc I didn't even remember what I said. He was answering my are you ok? I told my mom that I told him we could talk if he wanted, but he didn't answer. My mom said to just wait a week again. I did, but he still hasn't responded. His sister says he's ok, but he's obviously not. I would go to his house and see him, but I can't drive. I asked him if he wants me to keep messaging him or if he wants me to stop. I messaged him on insta when he was active so he could see it and he didn't reply. So I said ok ig I'll stop.

How do I know if he's actually ok? How do I get him to talk to me? It's really stressing me out.

[Valerie J]

Hi Jenny01,

Unfortunately, here at Scarleteen we are not equipt to be giving about advice about someone who is actively suicidal. I'm going to link you to resources we have and if you are still really concerned I'd recommend sending these to your friend or reaching out to get some advice on your own.

Overall, this situation seems really complicated and not something you are necessarily qualified to provide support for. His family situation sounds complicated and it sounds like he needs the help of a professional. You've done a great job as a friend trying to provide support and care. I think now the best thing you can do is give resources to help support him. And that's the best I can do because he is not directly someone I'm providing support to.

But again, it is our policy that we do not provide support around suicidality. We aren't equipt to handle that.

Crisis Hotline

Your state most likely will have a more local hotline that you can look up as well.

Hope this helps

[jenny01]

Oh ok. thanks