Relationships

[Starsnsloths]

Hey, my question is how do you deal with relationships in some ways like I get mean or angry thoughts about others but I know its unwise and unhelpful for me too. My question is, if I doubt a that thought does that mean I mean it or partially mean it because the feelings I get are frustration, anxiety, and I can have the urge to break things around me.

Another question is if by some weird chance I'm kicked out by my parents do you guys know some good resources for homelessness- I worry about this a lot. Thanks!!!!

Also, if you doubt a negative thought about yourself than that means you don't believe it right? Like if I have a thought that "I'm a bad person but I think but other people would say that x" would that be doubting it? How about "this is an dramatic (extreme) thought"- is that a doubt?

[Sam W]

Hi Starsnsloths,

Before I jump into the other parts of this, can I ask if you think your parents kicking you out is likely to happen? Have they made comments about kicking you out or otherwise suggested that your ability to live safely at home is under threat?

Given the other parts of this question, and some of the questions you've asked here previously, have you ever spoken to a mental healthcare provider about the possibility that you have an anxiety disorder or something similar? I ask because what you're describing some struggles with thoughts you'd rather not be having, or that you have to actively push back against against negative self-talk (which is what you describe doing in your last paragraph).

[Starsnsloths]

Yes, I do have an anxiety disorder- severe OCD; I was afraid I'd be kicked out for something I did in the past but I wasn't, my parents have promised me over and over again that they wouldn't kick me out over the years-3 yrs atleast. Also I am 20 yrs old so it wouldn't be abuse if they kicked me out. My dad's told that i have depressive symptoms, and I've been diagnosed with depression- low grade depression or something like that when I don't believe that I am depressed. I also suffer from paranoia and schizoaffective disorder, I have a mental health doctor and am waiting for a therapist and my next doctor meeting. I'm trying out new meds as well, believe it or not I've actually been trying not to ask too many questions or talk to much to you guys because I'm very good at worrying. My mom and a doctor once told me that when I'm bored my mind makes up stuff for me to worry about. I have a complex diagnosis of autism, schizoaffective disorder, severe ocd and a cognitive disorder of some kind along with dyscalculia and spatial awareness problems. Plus I've learned a lot over the years of unhealthy ideology; psychology; and have dealt with year long dellusions, as well as I was raised and am living with a pretty toxic for me parent whose unintentionally gaslit me in the past and has raised his voice yelling according to my mom. Our family is made up of different neurodivergences so its hard to tell what's normal and what's healthy. Thank you for reading, Starsnsloths

[Sam W]

I'm glad to hear that you're exploring different treatments for your mental health stuff, since some of it is pretty clearly causing you distress. I think your questions about negative thoughts about yourself and whether or not you believe them is a good topic to bring into discussions with a therapist once you're able to meet with one.

Something we might be able to offer around this has more to do with the first question you asked. Do you feel like something you struggle with is knowing which emotions or thoughts are "normal" when it comes to relationships with others, or how to manage negative emotions like frustration in the context of relationships?

[Starsnsloths]

Yes, I struggle with both of those, and thank you for being happy for me

[Sofi]

A good place to start is this advice column: I'm having doubts about my relationships; am I doing this right?
Does any of that resonate with you?