I don’t get turned on by fingering, it hurts a little and I don’t know where my clitoris is:(

[HaveyBaby]

Hi!
For a long time, whenever I masturbate, I tend to rub my vulva area through my shorts and underwear- and I’ve never had a problem with it! I always do it wearing a pantyliner so I don’t get my underwear messy!
A while ago, one of my friends told me how fingering was amazing, and I have never fingered myself! So at home, I pulled down my panties (I had washed my hands), then tried to stick my right middle finger into my vaginal opening (I think that’s where I’m supposed to put it), but I didn’t feel so turned on? I even tried to gently rub the area above my vaginal opening (like the clitoris area), but I didn’t feel anything. Not to mention, when I was trying to finger myself, it felt so tight? And almost uncomfortable!
I do feel pleasure whenever I rub my vulva area through my shorts/underwear, and I’ve used a vibrator and that feels good, too! I’ve tried to finger myself a few times, and once it only felt good, but that was because I rubbed my vulva area through my pants. Even then, I could feel the ‘climax’ slowly… disappear? Like I was getting so close to climax, but when I started fingering myself, I felt like I was getting farther from it.

To finish this up, I don’t know where my clitoris is. I’ve looked at as many different pictures of labeled vulvas while looking at my vulva with a mirror, but I just can’t seem to find it. Like I said, I get pleasure whenever I rub myself, but I still don’t know where it is.

Thank you for help!:)

[Sam W]

Hi HaveyBaby,

It can help to remember that all bodies enjoy different things when it comes to masturbation. So, while inserting fingers feels good to your friend, it might not be something that does much for you. Too, inserting things into the vaginal canal tends to feel better if you're using lube, if you're relaxed, and if you're already feeling aroused. That may be why the time it felt best is when you were also rubbing your genitals in a way that felt good. Does that all make sense?

As for your clitoris, when you're looking at the diagrams and yourself in the mirror, what do you see or feel where the clitoris is supposed to be (above the opening of the vagina)?

[Zahra]

Hey HaveyBaby

As Sam W said, fingering/penetration of any kind is not always for everyone. Some people like it, others find it okay but meh, and some don't like it at all. There is no right way here, just what you like.

Also as Sam W said, it's important to be turned on before penetration. Even people who enjoy penetration require some foreplay before they're ready to do that. It's important to be aroused because when you're aroused your vagina is generally more lubricated naturally, and it's more ready for penetration.

As for masturbation, the reason you might prefer to masturbate over your panties is because direct stimulation to the clitoris for a lot of people isn't all that great. A lot of people prefer indirect stimulation (like over clothes, or even rubbing your clit area over your vulva). Again there is no right way, just do what feels good.

As for finding your clit, have you tried using a handheld mirror? Try having the mirror as well as a diagram in front of you to identify different parts. Don't worry if everything doesn't look exactly like in the diagram, vulvas come in all different shapes, sizes and colours.