Oral sex didn't get him there

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Volleygirl22
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Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Volleygirl22 »

Sorry if this is like major TMI for anyone :/ A few days ago, my boyfriend woke me up with oral sex. I really liked it and told him I'd do the same for him something soon. I don't really consider myself good at giving oral sex (but I've only done it to him once before, so I haven't really had any practice, if that's the right word). Anyway, he seemed to like it, but it didn't really get him, well you know, "there". I'm not really asking for a "how to" but is there like a certain part of it that I should focus on next time I try oral? Could I have done it wrong or is there no right or wrong way?
Amanda
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Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Amanda »

Here is a Q&A about oral sex that you might find helpful: Mouthing Off on Oral Sex

As for whether or not a person has an orgasm during a given activity, there are many variables at play. There really is no wrong or right way to give oral sex, and whether or not a person has an orgasm mostly has to do with that person's internal feelings and perceptions. In other words, for the exact same activity, someone may orgasm but a different person may not, or the same person may orgasm on one occasion with a given activity, but not another time. You might consider approaching partnered sex in general with a slightly different mindset: focus on exploring each others' bodies, communicating about what feels good, and simply feeling pleasure rather than focusing on orgasm as an end goal. The communication part is key, especially when you are trying something new with a partner: good communication ensures that consent is present and ongoing, and that each partner is learning about what the other enjoys. Generally, the more experiences you have with a given partner, and the more you communicate about those experiences, the more pleasurable sex will become.

These articles may be helpful as well: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Driver's Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent
"We must not see any person as an abstraction. Instead, we must see in every person a universe with its own secrets, with its own treasures, with its own sources of anguish, and with some measure of triumph." -Elie Wiesel
Godoot
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Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Godoot »

I think the only thing you could do wrong while giving oral sex is using you teeth too much, that can hurt.
Besides that there isn't much that you could do wrong. For lots of people the best part of oral sex isn't the physical feeling,
but the intimacy. So it feels very nice, even if it doesn't give you an orgasm.
In this awesome web-comic there is some information on giving oral sex. (It's pretty explicit)
Last edited by Redskies on Tue Nov 24, 2015 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: -
Redskies
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Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Redskies »

(Godoot, I edited out the link to ohjoysextoy. We like the site and we don't have a problem with explicitness, it's just that Scarleteen is for people 13+, so we don't have links to sites or pages that are for 18+, which that site declares it is.)
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.
Volleygirl22
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Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Volleygirl22 »

Redskies, I understand the reason the link was removed from that post. However, should I Google it or is there anyway you could direct me to that so I could take a look? I'm just asking, so if not, it's no problem at all. Thanks :)
Redskies
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Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Redskies »

What you look for on the internet is completely up to you. Again, as a 13+ site, we don't link to sites which declare themselves to be 18+.

Just checking you also saw the information Amanda left you above :)
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.
Volleygirl22
not a newbie
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 8:52 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: Can spike a volleyball, but am only 4'9"
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Les
Location: Illinois

Re: Oral sex didn't get him there

Unread post by Volleygirl22 »

No problem! Thanks for getting back to me! Yes, I'm looking through those now
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