Condom hurts my boyfriend

[littlemissp]

Hi guys! I need your help. Everytime me and my boyfriend had sex, he complained about how the condom made him feel uncomfortable. We thought it was a size problem so we bough a slightly larger one and even though it fits him better, he still feels the same burning sensation and his penis gets really red. I then thought he could have a latex allergy but he didn't have this kind of problems in his past relationships. He says I shouldn't worry too much about it but I'm worried about him. We started our relationship six months ago and we've been sexually active since five months or so and even though condoms were a bit uncomfortable for him in the beginning, now it's almost unbearable and we need to stop immediately. He has his STDs tests up to date and so do I. Everything's alright. So...if he had never have a problem like this before, is there any possibility that I'm the one causing that to him? I don't know what to think anymore, I hope you guys can help me.
I don't know if this makes much of a difference or not but we're currently using Durex.
Thank you

[Heather]

Since part of what's going on here is burning and redness, my best advice would be that he check in with this sexual healthcare provider.

I agree with you: it sounds like an allergy or sensitivity may be afoot here (and just because we weren't allergic or sensitive to something in the past doesn't mean we can't develop allergies or sensitivities later: that happens with all kinds of allergies or sensitivities). But if he goes into the same provider where he gets STI tested, they can a) get him up to date with tests to rule out an infection if he's not current, and/or b) if he is very current, check him for a latex allergy or sensitivity.

In the meantime, should you two have intercourse, I'd suggest you try a nonlatex condom, and also try a different kind of lube than you've been using, just in case your current lubricant is the issue. But it also might be wise to just take a little break there, since the tissue of his penis sounds like it's been pretty sore for a while, so just giving it a break while he has a healthcare provider investigate this might be good in a few different ways.

[littlemissp]

Thank you Heather, we'll do that and test him for a latex allergy! Sure, I don't want him to feel worse
Also, can you please give me a bit more information about a nonlatex condom? Are they as safe as latex ones or do we have to have some other specific precautions? I'm on bc, but we both prefer having double protection.
Oh and we don't use lube...just the lube that's in the condom...can it be it?

[Heather]

Sure!

So, so long as you're not using nonlatex condoms made of animal products (often called "lambskin") but instead, nonlatex materials like polyurethane or polyisoprene, you have the exact same level of protection against both pregnancy and STIs that latex condoms offer. Lambskin condoms offer the same pregnancy protection, but do NOT provide protection against infections.

Really, part of proper condom use involves adding additional lubricant: that plays a role in keeping condoms from breaking. But not using lube also puts a pretty big limit on how good condoms feel to both people: a drop or two inside the condom increases both comfort and pleasure for the wearer, and a more generous amount applied to either the outside of the condom once its on, or directly to your genitals, whichever you prefer, increases both of those things for you. And if and when things start to get at all dry during use, you want to add a little more to the outside of the condom or your genitals.

The amount of lube that comes on condoms is basically just enough to get the condom on and play some part in keeping it from breaking: but it's often not enough for everyone's comfort or enough to have condoms feel as good as they can. And if and when that little bit of lube that comes on the condom wears off, as it often will within a few minutes, additional lubricant is needed to help keep the condom from breaking. Even if and when your own body is making a lot of its own lube, the kind of lubricant our bodies make just doesn't tend to play as nicely with condoms or other latex or nonlatex barriers as the kind that comes in a bottle.

[Heather]

By the way, the inside, or "female," condom is a nonlatex condom, if that's a style you want to try.

[littlemissp]

Really? Oh God I feel so stupid now cause maybe that's it! After a few minutes, I also feel a slight burning sensation but I forget about it cause it's not really too uncomfortable. Maybe I'm experiencing the exact same thing as him (due to the lack of lubricant) but because he's wearing a condom it feels worse.
We can put a drop or two inside the condom and more outside of it. Got it! But Heather, please correct me if I'm wrong, we can only use water based lubricants with condoms, right? And do we have to stick to that specific amount for the inside because it might slip off if there's too much lube inside? Sorry for so many questions but I think this might really be it. That would explain a lot of things.
Well, I never tried it...if we can't find any other option I'll definitely try it.

[Heather]

By all means, latex + genitals - lubricant usually = not so awesome or ouch.

So, whatever y'all wind up doing with condoms and which kind you use, you want to correct that lack of lube business, pronto.

You can use any kind of lubricant with condoms that is labeled as safe to use with condoms. Either water-based or silicone-based lubes (or hybrids of both) are fine. What you want to avoid are things like oils.

Per what you put inside, yep: more than a couple of drops and the condom may slide off. But a little lube also goes a long way inside a condom.

However, I would still advise taking a pass on latex condoms for now until he gets an allergy or sensitivity ruled out: stick with nonlatex until he has that health appointment.

[littlemissp]

Ahaha got it! We'll get some lube and nonlatex condoms. We're going to the health appointment but I really doubt it will be a latex sensitivity cause we're both studying medicine and we both use latex gloves almost every day and have never experienced something like that. However, it won't do any harm to go to that appointment.
Ah ok! I asked that cause I knew Durex had silicon-based lubes and I thought those were the ones that damaged the condom but I was wrong. Alright, so no oils.

Again, thank you a lot for everything! You have a wonderful website and your work here is amazing

[Heather]

Happy to help! Thanks for the lovely compliments.