I can't masturbate.

[Polkadot]

My clitoris doesn't work at all and the other suggestion I've heard, which is to put your fingers in your vagina is just painful and I can't understand why anyone would want to do that. I honestly wouldn't care at all except that I want to be normal and I feel bad that I'm not. What could be wrong with me?

[Sam W]

Hi Polkadot,

When you say it doesn't work, can you tell me a little bit more about what you mean? How are you expecting it to feel?

And the truth is, there is no one "normal" way to masturbate. Everybody's body works differently and responds to different things. Part of finding what feels good for you is about experimenting with different things. Does that make sense?

[Polkadot]

When I say it doesn't work I mean I don't feel any sensation and I know I'm supposed to because everyone says it's supposed to be a pleasure spot but for some reason I don't feel anything tingly or *special* like other girls/women talk about.

[Sam W]

So there's a couple things that might be going on here. The first is that, like I said, there's no one way that masturbation is supposed to feel, or no one thing that will feel good for everyone. Lots of people do feel pleasure from clitoral stimulation, but others don't. It's like food. Lots of people enjoy chocolate, but people who don't aren't somehow flawed for not liking it.

Too, no kind of masturbation is going to feel great if you're putting pressure on yourself to do it a certain way. You brain is a big factor in how you feel masturbating, so if you're stressed or frustrated you're not going to get much pleasure even if you are someone who likes clitoral masturbation.

How much experimenting have you done with masturbating? Like trying different positions or angles?

[Polkadot]

How much experimenting have you done with masturbating? Like trying different positions or angles?

How much experimenting? Well, almost none since I've only heard of two ways to do it and neither of them seem to work so it's not like I'm getting anything out of this. As for trying different positions or angles I know this is going to sound weird but I'm not even sure what is meant by that. I feel relieved tho that you said not everyone feels pleasure from clitoral stimulation because I honestly thought I was the only one and that mine was defective or something.

[Sam W]

I think this article would be really helpful for you. It covers lots of different ways that you can masturbate, including some of the stuff I was talking about: How Do You Masturbate?

You could also, if you felt comfortable, try experimenting with a sex toy, as some people find that makes masturbation more fun.