gender roles

[bikinksterboy]

we constantly hear about gender roles that are mis-implemented and forced on people to adverse affects. what are some gender roles that you guys gals and other people do like?

[Sam W]

Of the roles expected of me, the one thing I did end up liking was make-up. Just a more "out there" make-up than is considered proper in a lot of contexts.

[Kaizen]

I really like cooking, and have lots of recipes saved up to start making (and some passed down from my mom). I really look forward to building up a "kitchen", with spices and tools.

I somewhat enjoy cleaning; at least, I find it satisfying. I currently work retail, putting merchandise out, and I love the feeling when I've been able to to completely organize a shelf so that everything is neatly folded, matched by color, and ordered by size.

I don't hate light pink. (It's not my favorite color, but I don't hate it either. My sisters both hate it because it's "too girly".)

I like feeling pretty, and for special occasions like putting on makeup. (I found it really tedious doing it every night when I was in a play. My sister, on the other hand, likes wearing it every day.)

I like reading and writing and learning. Not sure if that one counts? It's weird to me that learning and writing were men-only things until not so long ago in the past, and now somehow it's flipped so (at least in my experience in school) girls led almost all projects and groups and a lot of the boys did the bare minimum or were class clown types; it seemed there was social pressure on them to act like they hated school. And the English department at my college was nearly all female.

I wouldn't call it "liking the gender roles" though, but "liking things that happen to be part of the gender role". My boyfriend once told me "You should learn to cook really good X", and I got worried that he expected me to do all the cooking because I'm the woman. I hated that idea. I brought it up, asking who he thought would cook, and he said, "I think that'll depend on our schedules."
I said I'd thought he expected me to do the cooking, and he said he didn't expect me to cook, but yeah, he expected that I would do a lot of cooking because I clearly enjoy it, cook for him nearly every time I see him, and have lots of recipes saved up.
To me there's a big difference there.

[Jacob]

Omg... Something I like about masculinity? I am struggling with that one!

There of course a bunch of privileges and stuff that can come from being treated like a man but that feels like a bit of a poisoned chalice!

I think one thing I like is technology and for some reason that is seen as part of male culture. Thinking about how you can use what we know about the world to build stuff and make life better/cooler and checking out the space age stuff that (kinda evil) tech companies make now still makes me starry eyed. I just wish the industry that houses all that utopian thinking wasn't so exploitative.

[Catherwren]

I think for me crying and being emotional. Like, I get upset a lot, so if I were a boy surrounded by stereotyping people, I would not be able to handle it.

[snailshell]

There is nothing about gender roles that I like - to me, something being a "gender role" implies that it is a requirement or somehow forced on me. Many things that I like to do on my own, I would resent being made or expected to do by someone else.

I am a cis woman, so I like to think of it as: what things traditionally gendered feminine do I personally enjoy? I like doing my nails, making a space cozy and tidy, cooking, and caring for people in my life. And I try to claim my enjoyment of those things as an independent and personal choice rather than letting myself think "eh, I'm in a gender role, but it's okay because I like it anyway." I happen to like these things because of who I am as an individual, not because I am female.

And while it sometimes seems like a pointless distinction, I find that maintaining it internally is crucial when I need it - like when someone at work assumes I'll be the one to orchestrate a birthday celebration, buy a card and get everyone to sign it, bring in baked goods, etc. because I am a woman. Sure, I generally like doing that kind of thing for my friends (I have more than a little Leslie Knope in me!) but people should ask, rather than assume; and they should ask based on my previously demonstrated enjoyment of doing this, not because of my gender. Being able to articulate this to myself and others has been critical.