My boyfriend wants to try anal

[Koala]

So my boyfriend wants to try anal and i dont know how i feel about it. I want to try i guess but i dont know what i should do before i do that. Is there certain things i should do before we try?

[Heather]

Can I check in with you first about what you really want?

You say you want to try, "you guess." You also say you don't know how you feel. That doesn't actually sound to me like someone who is actually interested in something sexual: who is curious and excited about trying something new. It sounds more like someone who feels like they need to try something because their boyfriend wants it.

If I have that right, then really, the best thing to do isn't anything to do with this until and unless YOU really want to try and do it and you feel excited about it and you know how you feel, and how you feel is curious and interested and excited and at the very least a little turned on by the idea. Doing something sexual just because someone else wants it from you is pretty much always a recipe for nothing good or fun.

Would you feel able to tell your boyfriend that you don't know what you think about this for now, so he should figure you know he's interested, and if you ever find yourself to be interested too, you'll let him know? That's one really basic way to respond to a sexual request from someone when you don't want the same thing yourself, or might, but aren't interested now or yet.