I’m nervous to kiss my boyfriend

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curly
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I’m nervous to kiss my boyfriend

Unread post by curly »

I have been dating this boy for a month and a half, and I always knew that he wasn’t good at initiating kissing/hooking up. He is pretty shy and he has like no experience so that’s why. So, at first I would kiss him first and he would kiss me back. This only happened twice and honestly they were both pretty bad kisses, we were in the car too so it’s not like we could move a lot. After that he sent me this long paragraph about how he wanted kissing to be more natural and how it felt forced to do it likhim come his (lol that was my last post) and I was very upset about it but also wanted to respect his wishes so I stopped kissing him. After maybe 3-4 weeks of us not kissing or hooking up he textes me another long paragraph saying that he didn’t mean to tell me that he doesn’t want to kiss at all and that he’s just bad at making the first move and wants me to do it all the time. This honestly is a little upsetting to me because it makes me feel like he doesn’t like me enough to just kiss me but that’s not the main problem. I thought that maybe if I started it a couple of times and it went well he would feel comfortable starting it too. But, I’m too nervous to do it. I am scared it’s not gonna go well and I just can’t do it. I really want to but when I’m with him I’m scared and I hold back. I really want to get past this fear... how can I?
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Re: I’m nervous to kiss my boyfriend

Unread post by Heather »

Is it this same guy from last month's post: http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic. ... 057#p35057

(Just so I know if we're talking about the same person from before or not. It sounds like you're saying so, but I'm not 100% on that.)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I’m nervous to kiss my boyfriend

Unread post by Heather »

Oh, and one quick question: beyond feeling scared to be the one to initiate kissing with him all the time, is that also something you just might not want?

In other words, in any of these feelings, are you also just really not wanting to be with someone who never initiates, and who even seems to be telling you they never want to do it and want you to do it all? Do you really even want -- even if you weren't scared -- to be with someone who says he won't be doing any initiating?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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