Constantly fighting with boyfriend. Don't know what to do

[marilos87]

Hi Scarleteen,

What am I suppose to do when my boyfriend wants to go on a break because we're constantly fighting. This is the 3rd break in the last two months. I think a lot of our fights come from him being depressed and I don't know how to make him happy anymore.

I also spammed his phone yesterday which I know I shouldn't have but I didn't know he was mad at me at the time. I ended up blocking his # on my phone because I didn't want to constantly wait for him to text me back which he probably didn't even text me back last night. is it ok to block your boyfriend?

I'm thinking about maybe texting him tomorrow. I don't know really.

Also many people have been telling me to just ignore him and that will make him "miss me" and wonder why I haven't been spamming his phone like I usually do. Is this true?

[Sam W]

Hi Marilos,

Ooof, it sounds like the two of you have hit a rough patch in your relationship, which can be really emotionally draining. Do you feel like this is a relationship you ultimately want to continue? Or does it feel to you like it's hit an expiration date and is no longer making you happy?

When a pair of people find themselves fighting often, communication and honesty become important if they want to resolve things or at least start working towards a resolution. So, following advice to ignore him or otherwise play emotional games rather than engaging the problem directly isn't going to work. It's okay to block a partner (or former partner) on your phone if that's what makes you comfortable, but if you've reached the point of blocking the number of the person you're dating, that's a sign that the relationship may be coming to an end.

Too, at a certain point if he wants to take a break, that's something he gets to do. Although, if the two of you continue your relationship, or you intend to after the break, it could be useful to look into ways to effectively resolve conflict, so that when you do fight you have a chance to resolve whatever issue has come up. This article is a great place to start learning those tools: How to Clash With Love: Some Conflict Resolution Basics