Just remembered something that made me kinda uncomfortable but comfortable at the same time

[solareclipse94]

Hey people,

I just wanted to post something that happened during a relationship of mine.

First things first. When I was with a certain someone, he and I cuddle every morning before school started. And it was the same day as my first kiss that this happened.

So what happened was he and I were cuddling because that's what we did. And he had arm around me. And when I was repositioning myself, he put his arm around me again. But instead of his hand on my arm, he kinda felt one of my boobs. I mean he moved his hand a little bit after that. But when it happened, I kinda was uncormfortable with it. The strange thing is that I was also sorta comfortable with it.

[solareclipse94]

no responses? okay cool. im chill with that.

[Jacob]

Hey solareclipse,

I didn't see this post when you wrote it. Sometimes we do miss things!

That said, I think it's common to have a mix of good and bad feelings about the same situation. It's part of what can be so difficult when people we feel close to do things without our consent. If they had just checked it could have been something we'd have only good feelings about. I'm sorry you're having to feel that dissonance.

Is there anything you're struggling with in this at the moment, or any questions we could answer for you to make this easier?

[solareclipse94]

Hello Jacob,
I'm actually struggling with actually talking to him. I mean he and I did break up the day after this happened. I am also struggling to understand why he keeps looking at me and passing by me.

[Jacob]

Ahah, this guy: http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=8144

You said he was ignoring you, so talking probably isn't possible. With the added information that he isn't doing consent, along with breaking up as soon as you had kissed, without explanation, he seems totally unprepared for intimacy.

With the looking at you thing... you guys are sharing the same public spaces so he's probably going to look over to you a bit. You also described it as staring though, which is pretty excessive¸ and can be intimidating.

Besides interrupting him with "Hey dude! Stop staring at me!" (which might work perfectly!) is there perhaps anyone at your school who could intervene, if his staring is too much and is making you uncomfortable, the school also have a responsibility towards you. Raising it seems like a good option.

[solareclipse94]

I mean I could bring it up with my class dean. But I don't think that he(my class dean) would do very much about it anyway.

[Jacob]

Even if it's just telling him that staring isn't cool, That's something.

Otherwise, I think as you said in your other thread, it is good that your focus is moving away from him.

[solareclipse94]

Yeah. I mean I do think about him sometimes. But, I try to focus on other things.