i hate gender

[tos3]

Yesterday I had an argument with someone on how whether parents should raise their kids genderless. I left that conversation with a hot, burning lump in my throat and a feeling like I want to vomit.

The only other time I've felt that dysphoric was when I had a delusion (I have a schizoid disorder) that I was a trans man (I am a cis female, and have been all my life)

I don't know what this means. I think about having a penis, I feel really uncomfortable. And yet...?

[Heather]

By all means some of us feel that way, like ideally, we'd just want the whole business erased (I'm one of those people, too).

But of course, many others don't, and do feel pretty strongly about having an internal sense of gender that is valuable and meaningful to them.

So, a genderless world? Probably just not going to happen, and it'd be a good thing for some people, while it'd leave others feeling lousy, too.

What do you feel like you need around this, and how can we help?

[tos3]

I don't really know who I am. I'm still figuring that out. What should I do in the meantime to make sure I'm healthy?

[Heather]

Healthy in what respect?

Also, my sense is that all of life is pretty much a process of finding out who we are, especially since who that is is ever changing. It's not like someone reaches a certain age or stage of life and can truly have that all sorted out.

[tos3]

Healthy in that I don't feel so bad about myself.

[Heather]

In terms of your gender? If so, you truly are the expert of you, so what do YOU think would help you? What do you think you need to feel better about yourself when it comes to gender?