I love him but I don't want to sleep with him.

[jerd_herley]

I met this guy through an online video game voice chat in December (on Christmas day), and we've been playing games together ever since. He's super charismatic and funny, and I've liked him for a while.
Recently, I found out that he started developing a little crush on me and we soon exchanged social media. We've been talking on the phone (like actual phone calls, normally I never call anyone lol) for hours literally every day for three weeks. We had instant chemistry (I'm super shy but he feels like someone I've known for years). We exchanged pictures and at the time I liked how he looked. He was perfect. In some ways, he still is. I would think about him every day, doodle his name in my journals, masturbate with him on the phone every night (It was always great!)... etc. I had even gotten to the point where I couldn't sleep if I hadn't talked to him before bed.
He talks about me like I'm an angel (when he's not poking fun at me lol) and personally no one's ever treated me like that. I was instantly drawn to it. I think he really cares about me. He smiles when he talks to me and he laughs and gets embarrassed when I say something that he did was cute. We both say we love each other multiple times a day. We started saying it after a week of talking. I was even thinking about marrying him. I felt like I had found the one. I had never felt like that about anyone before.
He just turned 27. I'm 17. I personally don't feel weird about the age thing, but maybe because I'm 17 and naive (?).
He's divorced and has a six year old daughter. I love her! She's beautiful! No problems there.

But here are the problems:
I'm not physically attracted to him anymore. He's not awful looking, but he's definitely not my type. I feel so shallow saying that.
I don't know if I really love him romantically anymore. I used to think about him every day, but now thinking about him makes me a little anxious.
I asked my parents to go to out of state for a trip. It's a 25 hour drive. I asked mostly so I could go see him. We planned to leave next week but I don't think the money and the time is really worth it anymore. All I'm going to do is meet him and have sex with him. I really wanted to go until a few hours ago today. I told them I didn't want to go anymore, but now the hard part is telling him that.
I am terrified of telling him that I may not be romantically attracted to him anymore. He hasn't even asked me out yet (so we're not really in a committed relationship) because so many girls have cheated on him or just used him for sex or money in the past and he doesn't want to get hurt, but he's in way too deep with me. I don't want to break his heart.
I'm thinking about making myself unattractive to him so he'd fall out of love with me and we could just be friends, but I don't know if it will work or not. I feel like it would be awkward to stay friends. I don't think either of us are ready to date yet, to be honest.

I don't even think I know what love feels like. This was originally supposed to ask about how nervous I was to have sex with him, but now I don't even know how I feel about him at all. Why can't I decide if I want to be with him or not now after I was so sure a few hours ago?

[Sam W]

Hi jerd_herley,

It sounds like your gut is telling you that you're both not ready for or interested in a romantic relationship with this guy anymore and that you're not interested in having sex with him. I strongly recommend listening to that part of yourself. I'll get into the reasons for that in a moment, but before I do, can you clarify for me if this is the same person you mentioned in your previous posts? Or is this a new guy?