std testing in open relationship

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
maja
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2014 12:40 pm
Age: 38
Primary language: english or german
Pronouns: she
Sexual identity: hetero slight bi interest submissive
Location: Germany

std testing in open relationship

Unread post by maja »

Hi,
I'm in a happy relationship with my partner. Since we both like experimenting sexually, we have casual but regular sex dates with other people, often w/o condoms. In these cases it's always planned and we do insist on HIV tests and try to check ourselves as much as possible for stds (close looks at genitals, observation of discharge etc). I see my gyn every 6 month for a check up and tests plus test syphilis and hepatitis c once a year. But I know that some stds like chlamydia may cause little to no symptoms and could cause infertility if they're left untreated for too long.
Apart from the obvious thing (no sex or no sex w/o condoms),
is there anything I can do to help protect me and my (male) partner?
Should I see my gyn more often?
How long does a std have to persist until it causes permanent damage?
Thanks for your answer :-)
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9584
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: std testing in open relationship

Unread post by Heather »

One thing to know is that we really can't check ourselves for most infections. Most STIs, most of the time, with most people, will NOT present noticeable symptoms. So, it's that regular testing -- paired with safer sex -- that best protects us. If you want to be protected as best you can, that means always using barriers with at least other people (and more protection = also with each other) and everyone getting regularly tested.

In terms of how often to test, the best person to work that out with is your healthcare provider. You can tell them how often you and your partner are with other partners -- in terms of how often you are changing or adding new partners -- and then they can figure out a good schedule with you. But chances are they will still suggest every six months or so, or maybe four times a year, but probably no more often than that, since more often just doesn't really leave enough time in between to account for incubation periods.

In terms of STIs creating long-term health issues, there's no easy answer to that, because all of our general health is so different. So, for example, one person can have Chlamydia for a few months without getting it treated and not wind up with PID, while another may have had it for only a few weeks and had that develop.

Personally, my best advice for you would be to start using barriers with your other partners. That's pretty standard in most open relationships, and that is what is going to make the biggest difference when it comes to protecting both of your health. It's also really easy (it should be, anyway), and that actually prevents infections, whereas testing only tells you after someone has already contracted something. Make sense?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post