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Please don't hate me

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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IAmScared
not a newbie
Posts: 83
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:29 pm
Age: 30
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Location: Croatia

Please don't hate me

Unread post by IAmScared »

Hi,good day.

I changed my gender. So recently,as I live with my grandpa who sexually abused me,I feel as I dissapointed him and feel guilty that he is not attracted to me anymore since I look as a boy now. I feel I dissapointed him. Now,I do NOT want him to touch me,but the feeling of dissapointment is still here.I feel guilty. It makes no sense cause I do not want him to touch me,but I can see dissapointment when he looks at me. (I was really sexually abused -- he would put his hands on my breasts when I had them and touch them without asking for my consent).What's wrong with me?? Please don't be mean to me
thanks
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Please don't hate me

Unread post by Heather »

We would never be mean to you or any other user.

We do need to hold the hard line we have previous set with you, however, and will continue to ask you to please respect it.

As you know, you've been told we won't keep talking with you about your abuse here. We believe you, we always have, but as we have told you in the past, the kind of help you continue to need with this and the headspace you continue to be in with it is simply far outside our abilities and capacity as a service. As we have suggested before, since you generally have had at least one therapist you are regularly working with, we need to remind you again that we still need to refer you to your therapist for help with this. I'm sorry we can't help with this, but I do believe you have at least one person who can and who is actively helping you with this.

As we've said before, we'd be glad to talk with you about other issues, we just have to hold our limit with this one.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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