Coming out stories

[Sam W]

Since today is National Coming Out Day, I wanted to make a space for people to share their coming out stories (with the understanding of course that not everyone is in a place where coming out is safe). Are there times you came out that went well? Who did you choose to come out to first? Are there things you wish you'd known before coming out to someone?

I came out to my partner by walking into the room and telling him I'd realized (while in the shower) that I was queer. He was super supportive.

Edited to add: I just remembered that I came out to my parents accidentally, because I described myself as queer in an authors bio on another site. That was an awkward conversation, and if I had it to do over again I might tell them first, rather than after.

[Mo]

I don't have one really clear coming out story. I started questioning my gender and sexuality around the same time, and wound up having a lot of conversations with some close friends (one of whom is now my partner) for a couple years before I sorted things out. Letting these people know was just another one of those conversations, where I said "I know I've been thinking maybe this is the case and now I'm sure." These really close friends were super supportive and I'm glad I had that space to mull things over with their support.

Unfortunately my experience coming out to my parents was pretty terrible; I felt forced into it rather choosing the right time for myself. I had just started medical transition and was planning on sending my parents a letter about it when I got home from a big family reunion, but at the reunion my dad got suspicious and pulled me away from everyone else to ask what was going on. I told him I wasn't ready to talk about anything yet, but sadly he didn't want to wait until I was ready and pressured me really intensely until I started crying and came out to him.
Because I wasn't prepared at all for that conversation, I didn't feel like I was very articulate in explaining myself, plus I didn't get a chance to tell my mom because he told her instead. She called me on the phone the next week asking me to stop taking testosterone, so it wasn't a great time.
Things are pretty good between us now, and I realize it probably would have been a good idea to come out to them sooner, but it still hurts a bit when I think of how that entire experience with my parents went.

Overall I've found that coming out really directly to people always feels awkward to me, but at this point I have to do it much less often than I used to, which is a relief.