Clit problems

Brand-new? This is the place for your questions and discussions on any and all topics, with fellow users or staff, while you get your feet wet.
jenny01
not a newbie
Posts: 145
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:51 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Sioux Falls

Clit problems

Unread post by jenny01 »

So one night I was able to find my clit while masturbating, but the next night I couldn't. I tried doing what Heather said and working my way up from my vagina and it seemed it work the first time. But now I can't seem to find it again. I've been trying to find my clitoral hood to lift it up but I don't really know what it feels like. I masturbate in my bed and it's hard to find my clit when I can't see it. Do you have any advice on how to feel for it in the dark?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by Heather »

So, the hood of the clitoris isn't really something anyone generally needs to (or really can, not in any grand way, anyway) "lift up." It's not usually a whole lot bigger than the glans itself, which is to say, it's pretty small. Many people rub the glans through the hood because direct contact with the glans otherwise feels too sensitive. For those who feel differently, it's more a matter of just pushing the hood back as you stimulate, rather than it being something one lifts or has to hold back.

Seeing where the clitoris is usually isn't necessary to find it, because it's very sensitive if and when we're turned on (and sometimes even when we aren't). But masturbation is about doing what feels good rather than finding X-part, you know? So ultimately, if you are simply feeling around and following what feels good it doesn't actually matter where you are. And if what feels good for you is contact with your clitoral glans, well then...you'll find that. Do you get what I'm saying?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by Heather »

Btw, this is a fun zine that has a whole bunch of clitoris info in it including some more diagrams in case a different view than the ones ours give is helpful to you: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1ALo_ ... JUXMw/view

(Cheers to our friends at pussypedia.net for that link!)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
jenny01
not a newbie
Posts: 145
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:51 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Sioux Falls

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by jenny01 »

Yeah I get that. I just know that when I do stumble across my clit it feels amazing. That's why I want to figure out where it is so bad. Does the hood feel like a piece of skin that you can roll back?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by Heather »

Most people don't have enough of a clitoral hood -- or more to the point, it's tethered to its attachment points in such a way -- to do what I think of when I think of "rolling" something back. Have you seen these vulva illustrations (just FYI, these are illustrations of vulvas) here: https://www.scarleteen.com/resource/adv ... ustrations

The hood is what looks like a hood -- like very little red riding hood -- within the inner labia, above the clitoral glans. See how it's attached? See how for some it's smaller while for others it is larger, but that it can be something you can push back, but not so much "roll" back?

But truly, if it feels amazing when you touch it, you'll know when you touch it. The vulva isn't that much real estate. And if you're touching your whole vulva and not feeling anything or much, it's probably less about not finding your clit and more about not being aroused enough first to have it be that sensitive yet. Arousal is what tends to make it super-sensitive: it often isn't all that when you're not turned on first.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
jenny01
not a newbie
Posts: 145
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:51 pm
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: straight
Location: Sioux Falls

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by jenny01 »

Do you have any suggestions or tips on how to arouse myself? Usually I just play with my nipples and breasts and think about my celebrity crush.
Elise
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 275
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 4:44 am
Age: 33
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual/queer
Location: Narrm/Melbourne

Re: Clit problems

Unread post by Elise »

Hi jenny01,
Sounds like you're starting to work out what works for you in terms of arousal already! In terms of exploring this further, you might find some articles I'll list at the bottom of this post to be useful. It can be useful to remember also that your stress levels, sense of safety and privacy play a big part in arousal, so something that might usually work for you in the physical sense might not happen because you aren't in as a comfortable situation as you need, if that makes sense? So it is less about what you are doing/not doing and more about where you're at mentally and situationally. Some of the articles below touch on that too.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post