Why do I feel pain when having sex

[Wassup]

Hi! I’m 16 going on 17 and I lost my virginity in December of last year. When I first lost my virginity it was uncomfortable and hurt, I bled a few minutes after he penetrated me so we stopped and I kept bleeding for about 3 days. After that we had sex a few days later and I started to bleed again i still felt the same discomfort and pain so we stopped once again. Recently I had another sexual encounter with a different person who was much bigger in size if you know what I mean. As soon as he penetrated me I instantly felt pain and stared bleeding after the second stroke, we kept going and the bleeding stopped but the pain was still painful. I felt no pleasure just straight up pain and I’m scared somethings wrong with me.

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards.

Let's first check in on some things that often are an issue when people are having pain with vaginal intercourse, okay? Chances are good nothing is seriously wrong with you or here, you just may not realize what you need to do in order for this to feel good instead of hurting.

1) When you have this kind of sex, is it because you really want to? Are you feeling strong desire when you do, and for this kind of sex in particular? Or is it more the kind of sex you're having because it's what your partners ask for or want?
2) Are you very turned on -- probably in part from engaging in other ways of being sexual first, maybe like making out, oral or manual sex, mutual masturbation, etc? -- *before* you try and have this kind of sex?
3) Are you using plenty of lubricant before you even start and then adding more as needed?
4) Are you telling your partner it hurts when it does, and are you two trying different things after you say that to ee if you can find a way to do this that feels good for you and doesn't hurt?
5) Is it ever feeling *good* to you in any way or at any point? What about other kinds of sex or ways of being sexual besides intercourse: is any of that feeling good to you? What kinds of sex do you find, so far, you like and do NOT hurt in any way?