Pain instead of orgasim

[MED]

In my thirties and have never had an orgasim. I have tried masturbation, different sex positions, and prep. Husband is more than willing to help, with any form of intimacy. I will start feeling the build up and then there is pain or complete shut down, where we have to start over. If play with clitoris to much, even starting slowly and build up, will cause pain. During sex, will get to the edge and then nothing. I have seen the OBGYN and see nothing physically wrong and hormone levels are normal. Different stages of my life that I have been on antidepressants, with or without, still can not have any form of oragasims. Do see a therapist and psychologist but insurance will not pay for a sex therapist and can not afford to pay out of pocket. Please help!

[Heather]

This may well be something where we really cannot help, alas, but let me check in about a few things just in case.

- Do you have any other issues with pain in general, or would you say you have a very low pain threshold?
- When you are trying all of these things, do you feel a string ohysical and emotional desure to do so, and do you feel very turned on?
- When you are trying all of these things, are you enjoying yourself and focused on just what feels good? Or, are you mistly focused on orgasm, and/or finding most of these things do not feel good?
- What has your therapist had to say about this? Do they feel it is an emotional issue, or that something like depression (I do not know, obviously, what you see a therapist for), another mental health condition or some kind of previous trauma, etc., is playing a role here? What have they suggested?

[MED]

-I really do have a high pain threshold. This has been the healthiest I have in my life, been sick as long as I remember. Found out last year that my sensitivity to milk so bad that it is labeled an allergy and was always in pain. Lost almost 90 pounds, on a strict diet and have my medications straight for my ADHD, bipolar, acid reflux and IBS.
-I am turned on, all into it. Concentrate the the love my husband has for me and the physical feeling.
-During the moment, not worried about the orgasim but enjoying the moment. Everything with my husband is enjoyable.
-They will not talk about it since it is not their forte.
-Have tried role playing.

[Heather]

Is this your prescribing doctor for those meds? If so, it IS within their license and education to address possible sexual side effects of your meds or the conditions they are treating you for, as it is with any other side effects.

Given your other answers - especially since they make clear arousal and desire are not issues -one or both if those is probably the most likely culprit (especially the meds, as so many do have sexual side effects), I would try and start there. If they refuse to even do that, you may need a new therapist, period!

I am also assuming you have, at this point, already experimented with a wide range of kinds of sex and stimulation - and also things like different kinds of fantasy in your head - given your age, but if I am wrong in that, that is another sound major avenue to explore.

[MED]

Yes the psychologist is the doctor prescribing the medications, and yes they have told me there is little chance of side effects to 1. But only been on 1 med as long as 7 years. There have been years where I have not been on medication of any form ( 13 to 23 years old, was without any medication ). They just don't know how to guide me in this area. Did not lose my virginity till 22 years old, so was very imaginative with fantasy. Started masturbating at 12, so I am at a loss.

[idol_chatter]

Get a second opinion from another GYN. While I can't diagnose you ***I do not claim to be a doctor *** I think you might want to look into Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. This little beast causes all kinds of problems. When you orgasam the pelvic floor spasms. Usually that's awesome, not so much for women with PFD. It can (expletive) hurt! Lemme find some links for you.

[idol_chatter]

Links... no idea why they turned out so weird

Hope this helps you. IBS ties into this. PT has helped me tremendous. Also, I know it is super expensive but find a good holistic doctor as well. I had a test done to find out how messed up my GI trach was. Amazing results from finding out what was in there that shouldn't be and what needed to be in there but wasn't.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=w ... 5972,d.aWw

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=w ... 5972,d.aWw

[Heather]

While I am not on board with suggesting what this may be like that due to all the factors here, I agree a second opinion from another GYN, and ideally one who specializes in pain issues, would be your best next step. There also is certainly no harm in researching pain conditions like the above to see if they sound like they fit what you gave been experiencing.

It also sounds like unless you feel like your therapist rocks for you in other ways, second opinions from a different therapist, or a switch to a different therapist full-stop, one more willing or able to address all your issues, may be a good idea, too.