Why are people so against a guy dating a girl taller than him?

[Heather]

Happy to do so.

[wishcoulddelete]

Thank you

[wishcoulddelete]

Just thought I'd update you guys, I tried a lesser change, and while they didn't get mad, they seemed at least somewhat upset, so I'm not entirely sure how to react.

[Heather]

Well, how are you feeling?

By all means, if you asked for something politely (as I have no doubt you did, as I get the impression you couldn't be impolite to anyone if you tried) and they said no, all there is to do right now is accept that. If they felt upset by you asking, all there is to do is to let them have the feelings they have and recognize you're not responsible for their feelings, nor can you control them, and perhaps recognize that it's good for them to have to deal with their own feelings and to have to get practice at dealign with you taking steps to advocate for yourself.

So, what you're left with that is actually about you is just how you feel having asked, and perhaps, if them being upset is something you have a hard time with, maybe starting to think about what you're going to do for yourself to deal when this happens as you try advocating for yourself. As in, what kinds of self-care will you do to take care of yourself in your own feelings, and to hold on to whatever dose of empowerment you might get from making movements to try and step up for yourself?

[Heather]

(FYI, it might be a good idea for you to go ahead and start another thread that's expressly about getting support when advocating for yourself in your family, or seeking out more freedom. That way, you don't have to worry about someone coming into a thread based on what you started with and talking about short and tall people dating when we've moved on to talking about much deeper and more meaningful things. )

[wishcoulddelete]

I'm feeling... Kind of... "Small", I guess. Not in a literal sense, of course.

Alright, I guess (well, I'm sure) that you're right. (Really? I always get so concerned that I seem annoying or rude.)

Getting upset will upset my parents for me being discontent, and it's just a painful cycle if I so much as try to care about myself to that point, and trying to please myself will probably upset them too for being selfish.

(That is very true. What category would you recommend I post that in?)

[Heather]

Supporting each other, perhaps?

When you do, we can pick up where we left off here, there. I'll keep my eyes peeled!

(Also, a couple volunteers themselves have been talking about their own struggles with codependence -- that's some of what you're describing here with feeling worried about self-advocacy and self-care, a thing all emotionally healthy people need to do to be healthy, upsetting your parents -- so they might be able to pop in and connect well with you around this.)

[wishcoulddelete]

Alrighty, I'll make the topic.

(I would gladly appreciate that, and it would be wonderful to have an opportunity to help, at least in some way, everyone who's been helping me this whole time as well.)