I didn't know masturbation was a thing

[thewrit3r]

After seeing the "Masturbation Myths" forum I just realized I never heard any of these myths growing up because I didn't even know masturbation was a thing until I was 14, and I had been doing it for years! My parents NEVER brought it up with me (as far as I remember; my mom talked about it with me after I brought it up to her) and it was only when I was stumbling on a teen's health website that I realized there was a term for what I was doing. Prior to this I seriously thought something was wrong with me and I was "weird/odd". I just thought it was kind of odd that it was never talked about in my house yet my parents gave me the typical "sex talk". Maybe they'd just figure I'd learn on my own and it'd be too awkward to bring up? I don't know. Has anyone else had any similar experiences?

[Alixana]

Yeah, I had a similar experience, not knowing masturbation was a thing girls could do, until years and years after I'd already been doing it. Not knowing that it was a normal and healthy behaviour, I figured something was wrong with me, and felt a lot of shame because of it.

Egen though I have consiously unpacked and rejected a lot of sexist ideas about womens' sexaulities being shameful, I sometimes think that the shame about masturbation I felt as a kid, is still affecting my ability to enjoy sex today.

[thewrit3r]

Exactly! I felt so guilty for the longest time that I'd done something wrong. To know now I could have saved myself a few years of shame makes me frustrated that I didn't know earlier but also relieved - I know longer have to think that way anymore!

There does seem to be this mindset that masturbation is a guys club which I think goes along the whole thought pattern of guys thinking about sex 24/7 while women only do it to "please" guys (cause apparently everyone is heterosexual ). Thankfully I am feeling a lot more comfortable now, I think as I've gotten older and explored my sexuality I started questioning the beliefs we had laid out for ourselves. I think if we keep going at it and finding sex-positive communities like Scarleteen we'll start to undo those sort of thinking patterns and embrace the beauty that is sexuality