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Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
BuddyBoi21
not a newbie
Posts: 207
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2018 8:16 pm
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: My Eyes
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
Sexual identity: Pansexual
Location: United States

Re: Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Unread post by BuddyBoi21 »

Hi Siân!,

This totally makes sense and it's why I was very relaxed during the trip. It's why I really knew I would be okay and would be in control of myself while feeling these emotions. Even through some slightly embarrassing aspects of the encounter were there (people wondering about the relationship status).

I do believe that I will be happy, with or without my current partner, when it comes to romance. This trip did however pleasantly surprise me. I'm often deemed cute over handsome and by no means fall into traditional masculinity in plenty of ways.

So it was a bit of a confidence boost and fun to have someone flirt with me. It was even more surprising that that happened while I was in a relationship. I just never thought something like that would happen to me, y'know?

I see where you're coming from with that statement. I see it more as a "convinient crush"; while yes the person in question is pretty and charming, she like anyone else is flawed. So going to pursue this could have problems rise up just like my current one.

So yes even though I will be feeling pretty lonely if my current partner and I break up, I will probably push myself to take a breather from any serious dating (or even dating in general) until further notice.

Pretty much I'm just gonna let this play itself out and not worry too much about it.

Thank you all (Heather, Sam and Mo) for helping finslly resolve and sort through my guilt relating to my partner!

And thank you Siân for helping me look more into having a crush while being in a relationship!

Please keep up the amazing work!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Unread post by Heather »

I'll be thinking all the best thoughts for you! You know where to find us if you need (and just want!) any more help or support moving forward. <3
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Mo
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 2287
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity: queer/bisexual

Re: Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Unread post by Mo »

I'm so glad we've been able to be of help, best of luck to you. :)
Animallover95
not a newbie
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:17 pm
Age: 29
Awesomeness Quotient: Heart of gold
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: Sheffield

Re: Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Unread post by Animallover95 »

Hi I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I thought I first it’s because I was very inexperienced and also I was threatened to be raped by my previous boyfriend because I refused to have sex with him. So I don’t know if because of that I have trouble getting aroused with my boyfriend but I can alone but only with my clit as I feel no pleasure at all inside. I love him and he’s amazing to me but why don’t I get turned on with him?
Siân
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 785
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2017 6:10 am
Age: 34
Awesomeness Quotient: I ask ALLLLL the questions
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Figuring it out
Location: UK

Re: Sexual Shame and Sexual Trauma: Intimacy Issues

Unread post by Siân »

You're welcome BuddyBoi :) we're here whenever you need us.

Animallover - I'm sorry you're struggling. Can you make yourself a new thread to talk about this so we can support you there?
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