Losing my Libido

[Sonnyjoeyandjc]

Ok, I'm new here so I hope this is the right board, but I really wanted feedback. So, basically, I'm chaste by choice but I have always been able to have really sexy times jerking off, until lately. Ever since I was a kid Ive been able to arouse myself with thoughts of specific types of edgeplay (not actually doing it mind you just thinking about it.) It was great. But in basically the past year (with no major changes to my life that would account) Ive totally lost that. The mental images and games I used to play with myself are now just blank and blah. Like I dont care anymore. And it kinda sucks because that was always my go-to. And I havent found anything new to replace it. Everything is boring now, I miss that feeling of getting hot.

I dunno, what do you think? Let me know.

[Sam W]

Hi Sonnyjoeyandjc,

It can be really frustrating to find that something that used to reliably arouse you no longer seems to be doing the trick. However, because human brains like novelty, it's not all that strange that after years and years, that particular set of fantasies no longer seems as exciting. Too, most of us will have periods in our lives where our desire or interest in certain fantasies waxes and wanes.

The main thing to try is what you're already doing; exploring new fantasies and seeing if you find any of them appealing. You could also consider introducing things like sex toys into the equation, to see if new sensations help generate pleasure.

[Sonnyjoeyandjc]

Cool, thanks. Although I dislike sex toys. To be honest I dont get turned on too much by whats between my legs, but I get more aroused by touches on the skin, especially arms, or at least I used to. So maybe Ill try some more sensual things but idk.

[Karyn]

Sex toys aren't everyone's cup of tea, so if they're not your thing, that's fine. It sounds like you have some idea of some other things to try though, so that's a good place to start: as Sam said, it's very common to go through periods when our interest in things that used to turn us on just isn't as high, and some novelty is often a way to manage that.

I will also say that if you're finding that your sex drive just isn't as high, period, that's also very common. It can be frustrating, but pretty much everyone will find that over the course of their life, their interest in sex varies at least a bit, and there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean it will be like that permanently, but sometimes you do just have to wait and be patient with yourself.