Pain/pink cum when masturbating??

[anonnymous20]

okay.. so a year ago i was able to masturbate easily and i i used to have a routine of doing it everyday with toys and everything then i stopped due to a traumatic situation.
i have just started again and it’s been okay, i started using a vibrator (which i don’t really know how to use) and then today i was touching myself and i was getting so close and my precum? i guess? was the correct colour and was okay. but after a while i took my fingers out after i felt so close and i had pink cum? i think on my fingers, i had no pain but still? and i t was okay but not i feel really tight and like i have opened the word ig is opened myself up.. any advice?

[Jacob]

Hi there are welcome!

I'm sorry you had to stop due to trauma, and it'd make sense to be nervous and have tightness. Rather than 'opening' yourself up, it is more likely that you're dealing with some reflexive tensing and relaxing, which are some good things to pay attention to. i.e. I wouldn't just 'push through' something that feels uncomfortable; better to take it easy and go at a pace that feels right how your body reacts.

Per the pinkish liquid, it's possible you scratched yourself a little with a small amount of blood mixing with the liquid which was already there, as this color change happened during masturbation. Another possibility is that the coloration might be the result of light spotting mixing with your cervical fluid and ending up on your fingers, which would relate to where you are in your menstrual cycle.

Does that sound like what might have happened?

[anonnymous20]

i thought that too but i’ve started to get kinda uncomfortable walking because it burns which caused me to want to itch. i’ve never had this problem before i do think i may have scratched myself but straight after this has happened? i may have to see a healthcare professional (which i really don’t want to do) but every time i search it up google it worries me even more. i have a feeling ive just let it get to my head

[Latha]

Hi Anonnymous20!

I think a scratch could cause both the blood you noticed and some burning or itching as it heals. If the burning isn't very uncomfortable, I think you can give it a few days to see if the sensation goes away on its own. If I may ask, why don't you want to see a healthcare professional? What is worrying you?

[anonnymous20]

oh okay! i don’t want to see one as i have genuine fears of all healthcare professionals and also as im under 18 my mom would know about it which i really don’t want because she’s gonna ask questions. but tbh i genuinely don’t like people in general

[Sam W]

Hi anonnymous20,

With your mom, if your end up needing to go to a healthcare provider and need her help arranging that, you could say that you think you might have a yeast infection or a UTI. Those can happen for lots of reasons, so you wouldn't have to disclose the masturbation part to her if that didn't feel comfortable.

In terms of those fears around healthcare providers, do they come from a specific incident or incidents? Or is it more that you're worried about what might happen during the appointment?

[anonnymous20]

it comes from specific incident from when i was younger that’s all i rarely go dentist/doctors or even near the police because of it

[Latha]

Hi Anonnymous20

If fear from this incident keeps you from visiting the doctor when it could help you, it is no small matter. You don't have to tell us anything about this incident, but if you do, maybe we could offer some advice or validation.

[anonnymous20]

when i was young i was very ill and i understand that doctors will do anything to make sure i was okay. they held me down and cuffed me to the bed with police standby because i hit a nurse as they took my blood when i begged them not to. and then mostly its because they lied they said they wasn’t going to do anything i didn’t want but continued to do it anyway.

[Sam W]

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry you went through that, and I can absolutely see how that kind of trauma would make you wary of ever seeking medical care again. Have you ever received any kind of counseling or other support around what happened?