arousal

[Heather]

Okay!

Which of those two topics would you like to focus on first?

[naira]

Hi, I would like to focus first on masturbation

[HannahP]

Okay, great, we can do that! Did you get a chance to read the articles that Latha sent you about masturbation?

[naira]

hi, yes i read them but i am still confused

[maille]

Hi again,

Can you tell us what about the articles made sense to you? And what do you still have questions about?

[naira]

hi, i mean i know what it is and i am not sure how to start as i already inserted my finger tried moving but i didn't feel anything.

[Tara]

Hi, naira:

I have read through this thread and I hope you are getting some clarity and understanding from the various staff and volunteers who have responded to you. I am glad Becky asked the question about what you are hoping to accomplish. It looks as though you have received links to several articles on masturbation - how to do it, enhance it, and become comfortable with doing it to achieve what you want. Were you able to read those and did anything new stand out to you to try? It sounds as though you have been experimenting with some new techniques, which is good and the only way you will really discover what makes you feel pleasure and become more comfortable with that method as you do it regularly.

I think practice is key with masturbation and it helps you become more connected to yourself and your body. Practicing syncing up both your mind (thoughts, fantasies) with your body (where and how you are touching yourself) will help create/solidify a habit that will feel natural, comfortable, and hopefully lead you to your special place of pleasure. If you want to try incorporating your partner into your mental fantasies, you may find that your desire for that person and comfortability in experiencing pleasure with that person will come more naturally.

I would not say your arousal level is "abnormal" in any way because there really is no normal. People experience varying degrees of pleasure and there are infinite ways people go about experiencing it. It is just what you find works for you and that may require more practice for some. Since you know you already experience pleasure by squeezing your abdomen, can you continue to do that and try incorporating other techniques?

[naira]

hi, so can i just directly enter my finger without any lubes and all

[Tara]

So sorry, naira, I accidentally responded to an older post of yours and did not address your more recent questions about finger masturbation.

Yes, you can insert just your finger without any lube, particularly if you are already wet and have natural lubrication. If you are not wet and it is dry, it will be more difficult and not as comfortable to try inserting your finger. If you are dry, that is okay, but I would recommend using a lubricant.

Does that help?

[naira]

Yes Thanks!!

[Heather]

I do want to say, though, that for most folks with vulvas, inserting fingers or other things into the vagina isn't what tends to feel most satisfying or even good, especially if or when that is all someone is doing.

That has to do with a few things, but the biggest of them is that the vagina only tends to feel particularly sensitive in a feel-good way (rather than a painful way) when the internal and external portions of the clitoris are full of blood. And *that* usually only happens when a person has really focused their attention on the clitoris, rather than the vagina.

[naira]

Hi, I've tried inserting my finger quite a few times and even tho i was wet and could slide my finger in I didn't feel anything rather after removing i felt something poking in or like slight pain in my lower abdomen, is it normal? how do i actually feel it?

[Sofi]

Hi naira, could you be more specific about this sensation, is it like a muscular pain in your lower abdomen, or does it feel like it's inside your vagina?

Also, if you don't really feel much when you insert your fingers, that's okay. As Heather explained, most people with vulvas don't prefer that - some people don't experience pleasure that way at all, some feel some pleasure but still prefer to stimulate their clitoris first or instead. No insertion of anything is necessary to have enjoyable masturbation, so if it's not for you, that's totally okay. Have you given clitoral stimulation a try? That might be a better experience for you.

[naira]

Hi, idk i don't feel anything much now and about clitoral stimulation i am not able to do that even tho i am wet maybe i am not able to figure how to do and all, how many mins or like sec should i do in the start?

[KierC]

Hi Naira,

There’s not really a specific timing to masturbation, it’s really about exploring in your own time and trying different touches when you feel like it. Do you mean that when you’ve tried clitoral stimulation it doesn’t feel good, or what do you mean by not being able to figure out how to do it?

[naira]

hi, i said i don't feel anything only and i meant i don't know whether i am dng it properly

[Straif]

Hi Naira, as Kier points out, there isn't a "proper" way to masturbate, nor is everyone going to feel pleasure with every kind of touch. It might be helpful to go back and reread some of the articles sent to you previously as they have lots of ideas for how you can experiment. You might find it helpful to learn more about sexual response and orgasm in general: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide
as well as this section about anatomy and pleasure: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... al-anatomy

You may need to try different things, including (as Heather suggested) focusing more on clitoral stimulation with and without using lube. If using your hands doesn't work, you might also find this article helpful: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... ve-edition

The most important thing is to be patient with yourself.

[naira]

yes thanks!!

[naira]

hi, how to do clitoral stimulation? i read those articles but i still am confused.

[KierC]

Hi Naira,

Clitoral stimulation involves any way of either directly (with your fingers or hand) or indirectly (with a toy, pillow, or blanket) touching the clitoris. Again, with masturbation there’s not one way to do it, so our best recommendation is to spend some time along exploring your own body, and taking the time to notice if anything in particular feels good! How does that sound to you?

[naira]

hi, i meant how to do it with pillow?

[KierC]

I can’t describe how to do it because there’s multiple ways folks choose to masturbate, and there’s not one right or wrong way to do it, you know? Some folks will rub against a pillow on their stomach, and some will grind against a pillow. Does that make sense? Do you feel like you could explore and see for yourself what feels good?

[naira]

yes thanks!
so i had a small make out session (rubbing and touching my body) and i don't think i felt anything but i was breathless and wanted his hands on me idk if there's anything wrong with me or i ain't understanding what it is coz i get those flips and arousal due to his talks . And does rubbing causes itch not exactly on the minor labia but around it, and i guess my minor labia has swollen, is it normal??

[KierC]

Hey Naira! How exciting! It sounds like this experience left you feeling desire and arousal, as the breathless feeling is something you can feel when you’re excited! Though, rubbing should not cause itching or swelling. Can I ask, did you wash your hands before touching, and were you rubbing with anything scratchy or rough in texture?

[naira]

hi, idk if he has washed his hands and he has rubbed on my panties first. But I didn't feel the same when he used to touch me on my boobs or thighs it usually used to give those flips and arousal but not while he was doing everything simultaneously . i think i did not feel any arousal when we were making out or idk if i did not understand how i felt but i do want to experience again and again. if i think about that small sesh i get aroused.