Avoiding irritation when masturbating

[PennyDuck]

I've been masturbating more regularly and intensely recently, for stress relief reasons and because I've started getting horny while I'm menstruating. It's been relaxing me and helping with cramps, but I've noticed my privates feeling itchy and irritated afterwards and during the day. It's been causing me some pain and I was wondering how I can prevent it.

I'm 14 years old and don't have access to lubricant or anything. I usually masturbate by rubbing and digging my fingers into my vulva and sort of humping my hand a bit, always over my pants as I don't like touching that area directly. The pain is mostly around the urethral and vaginal openings.

Please help, all the advice I see online about this talks about using lube and I don't have any and can't buy it.

[Heather]

Hi there, PennyDuck. Welcome to the boards. <3

It does sound like a lack of lubrication may be your issue, so let me suggest a few things I think you probably can do:
1) I'd suggest you stop doing this outside your clothes, so you are not rubbing your genital tissue against fabric, which will absolutely cause irritation. Are you open to talking about why direct contact is an issue for you to see if we can't help you resolve that?
2) I'd really try and access some kind of lubricant, whether that's by buying something at the pharmacy (if you have any income with which to do that) or by at least using something safe that might be available at home, like coconut oil or olive oil.

[PennyDuck]

I don't get any pleasure from touching my vulva directly since the skin is too sensitive down there so it's really ticklish and there are so many textures it's overstimulating. I touch it directly to wash it but that's it.

When I buy things with my credit card my mum can see what shop I'm in and how much money I'm spending and she always asks about what I bought, so to buy some lubricant from the pharmacy I'd have to gather together enough cash to pay for it and then go to the shop after school. There is olive oil and coconut oil in my kitchen but I don't think I could take any without my parents noticing. Is there anything I could use that might be kept in the bathroom?

[Anya]

Hey there PennyDuck,

That makes total sense. Not everyone likes direct contact during masturbation, so hopefully we can find a way to limit irritation and still prioritize what you already know feels best for you!

I know having parent supervision over your money can be tough when it comes to more sensitive purchases but might you be able to buy some snacks or something at the grocery store and also get something like coconut oil? It's generally an under $5 purchase may go unnoticed among just a total $ amount.

The problem with a lot of bathroom products is that this is where companies get pretty excited about added scents, chemicals, and soaps; all things that can cause much more irritation, especially if you know you're already sensitive. We do not generally recommend using anything that is a soap, lotion, or skin product. These are not meant for sensitive skin like what is on the genitals, even if they say "for sensitive skin" like many face products do. What is possible may be either baby oil, or vaseline. Baby oil is preferable because it often comes out of a bottle, so no shared bacteria, and it IS meant for that kind of sensitive skin. Vaseline can also be a good option, the only real downside is due to its traditional jar container it can collect bacteria over time, which may again put you at risk of irritation long-term, so if you can find a squeeze bottle, I think they come that way too.

By using any of these lubes though, you will change the sensation of the over-underwear feeling, so know that it won't still feel the exact same, and you would probably have to change underwear afterwards. Are the underwear you currently wear 100% cotton? This is generally best for low irritation because of breathability, but if it's causing too much friction, you could also look into a smoother, seam-less part of underwear.

Do any of these options seem possible to you?

For more info on lube, please see: Lube 101: A Slick Little Primer

[PennyDuck]

Thanks for mentioning a range of good options and talking about what's bad and why. Next time I'm walking back from school on my own I'll try and buy one of the things you mentioned at one of my usual supermarkets. If there's nothing there I'll go to the pharmacy and just buy some deoderant or something as well to show to my mum. I have vaseline but it's in a jar and I usually just use it for chapped lips so I'm not particularly careful about avoiding contamination.

Most of my pants are 95% cotton. I do masturbate more on my period, and most of my period pants' lining is 95% cotton too. Generally I feel like there's less friction with the period pants, possibly cause there aren't seams in the lining and they tend to slide around less, but also may just be because the blood provides some natural lubrication? I don't know. Maybe I'll try wearing them next time to test, especially since they're hand-washable anyway.

Thank you again for the explanation, it was really helpful!

[Anya]

Hey PennyDuck,

Grabbing one of these things from the supermarket or pharmacy on your way home sounds like a good plan.

And using your period blood as lubricant is quite a common, and literally DIY mode of lubricating! And yeah, though they are mostly cotton, I think the liners/pads you wear may be contributing to the irritation as, though they are made to be put on genitals, they still often contain chemicals that when introduced to friction might play a part. So giving the period pants a try might alleviate this! This is a great idea.

Glad this has been helpful!