I hate being a lesbian and I don't know what to do about it

[DJDiva]

I really... think i hate being a lesbian. Like it's genuinely just a lose lose situation. It's so fucking lonely. I get a crush... nothing happens and when something does(example: with my ex. We broke up like almost a year ago) it just seems like im "forcing" someone into a relationship.

I've had crushes and I finally confessed to my crush, but I've been ignored for basically a week. I can't tell any hints and I dunno. It's like it's just embarrassing liking people to have nothing happens, it feels useless and like a waste of time. I'm always putting my energy, my feelings, etc into someone only to just be left alone. It only got worse when I realized I was a lesbian.

I just want to be confessed to first, like I'm sick of being the one who likes someone first. I want someone to like me first.... but i dont think that's going to happen to me, especially while being lesbian.

It wouldn't really matter anyway... but i feel like being a lesbian just made it worse. Like im already basically an oulier for my sexuality and my race... and it quite literally does nothing for me... like what's the point. I just dont know what to do with this feeling. It's really lonely.

[Latha]

Hello and welcome to the boards, DJDiva,

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling alone, and struggling to have much hope about your romantic prospects as a lesbian. That said, I am glad you reached out to talk to us about it. I hope we can give you some comfort.

I don't know much about your situation, but I think it is likely that your struggles with dating and loneliness have less to do with being a lesbian specifically, and more to do with your environment. Your crush ignoring you this past week is not a reflection of your worth as a partner, but their lack of comfort in being kind and honest about what they want. It is possible to find people with whom your race and sexuality won't make you an outsider, and who are more mature and thoughtful about the way they manage their relationships. Too, liking girls probably makes your dating pool smaller than it would be otherwise right now. In an environment with more sapphic people, it will be easier to find someone who matches the energy and care you have for them.

Would you like to talk about your what happened with your ex? Why do you feel like you were forcing her into a relationship with you? (Is that something she said?)