Trying to enjoy sex

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xashx
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2026 11:52 pm
Age: 19
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Location: US

Trying to enjoy sex

Post by xashx »

Hi I'm pretty new to having sex and I've honestly been struggling to enjoy it. My partner's penis is on the larger side and I've been having difficulty trying to accommodate to it. Is there anything I can do in this situation? I really want to enjoy sex.
Latha
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Joined: Sat May 22, 2021 8:13 am
Age: 23
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Queer
Location: India

Re: Trying to enjoy sex

Post by Latha »

Hello and welcome to the boards, Xashx!

It is very likely that there are things that you and your partner can try so that you can enjoy sex with them more. It might take some trial and error, but we can chat about what that might look like.

I have a few questions to start, just to understand what is happening:
  • It sounds like you are having trouble enjoying intercourse with your partner, and I am guessing that this is penis-in-vagina sex. Is that right? Are you trying to have this kind of sex because you want it for yourself, not just your partner?
  • Can you tell us more about the difficulty you've noticed? Is there pain, or is it that you are having trouble inserting their penis inside in the first place?
  • If there is pain, where is it located? (Towards the back, or at the entrance perhaps?)
  • Have you tried insertion with smaller objects, like fingers? Do you have the same difficulties with that?
Intercourse is just one of many pleasurable ways you can have sex with your partner. While we explore possible solutions, if it isn't working for you two right now, intercourse doesn't have to be the focus of what you do together. Are there any other sexual activities that you have been able to enjoy with your partner?
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