Boy, girl or neither?

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
LumiNosity
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2026 2:34 am
Age: 15
My Awesomeness Quotient: I am a kind person who never wants to see someone
My primary language: English
My pronouns: Discovering
My sexual identity and orientation: Discovering: maybe bi
Location: Australia

Boy, girl or neither?

Unread post by LumiNosity »

I have been thinking about my gender for a while now. I am currently a boy but I don’t know if I want to stay as one. It’s something that has always been in the back of my mind but only recently have I actually been considering anything.

The way I feel is confusing? I don’t know if I want to be a girl, like I sometimes have these thoughts of what it would be like to have long hair, or nails and what not. And i always seem to end up with a feeling of happiness thinking about it. But at the same time i don’t know it I would want to go as far as being trans. So I eventually decided to start exploring the idea of being non binary and I really like it!

The only issue is don’t know if I could actually do something as big as that and I have all these thoughts on how I. Not unhappy enough with being a boy to justify doing something like that and my own feelings are starting to get overwhelming

I have skipping over a lot of my feelings here to not end up writing a whole novel so their are lot of extra little things in my mind going on.
char
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 395
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2025 3:08 am
Age: 26
My Awesomeness Quotient: i have chromesthesia!
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them/theirs or xe/xem/xyrs
My sexual identity and orientation: aromantic queer/bisexual
Location: southeast asia (SEA)

Re: Boy, girl or neither?

Unread post by char »

Hi LumiNosity! Welcome to the boards; happy to have you here :)

From one nonbinary individual to another, I'm glad to hear that being nonbinary is something that you've been enjoying! At the same time, I'm sorry to hear that your feelings have also become overwhelming, though.

First off, I'd like to assure you some things related to exploring your gender. The thing with gender exploration, including how you'd identify yourself and how you present yourself to the world, is that the sky's the limit. For one, you can try growing your hair out and getting your nails done however you see yourself fit; it doesn't have to be an exclusively girl thing. There also isn't a "minimal" amount/threshold of discomfort or dysphoria you have to reach for you to change the way you identify and/or present yourself, including transitioning. Another assumption I've sometimes seen in certain spaces (online or in-person) is that nonbinary is only an "in-between" identity for anyone who falls into the transgender umbrella, which is untrue. Being nonbinary can be part of the transgender experience. Do you get what I mean?

When it comes to yourself, what emotions related to your gender identity do you usually feel to the point that it's confusing and overwhelming? Would you like to elaborate on that?
Never be scared of trying to reach once more the dreams you'd briefly forgotten. / Listen to the voice of your heart. (NCT DREAM - "Unknown," 2024)
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