Search found 8985 matches

by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 10:19 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: feel like a fake lesbian
Replies: 3
Views: 73

Re: feel like a fake lesbian

I'm glad you're feeling better and that you felt safe processing this here! And I agree with you; you know yourself and your sexual orientation better than anyone else, and you're the boss of what words you use to describe it!
by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 10:16 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexual activities feel underwhelming
Replies: 4
Views: 359

Re: Sexual activities feel underwhelming

Hi forzarg, I hear on that worry that if inserting fingers has been painful, a sexual health exam is likely to be as well. It still might be sound to schedule an appointment, both so that you can find out if there is a physical component to the pain, as well as because, since you're sexually active,...
by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 8:33 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: feel like a fake lesbian
Replies: 3
Views: 73

Re: feel like a fake lesbian

Hi kukiromu, It sounds like this is really stressing you out, but I actually think you answered your own question when you said this: "that label brings me a lot of joy and comfort." What that tells me is that lesbian as an identity is the one that resonates with you, your feelings, and yo...
by Sam W
Thu May 16, 2024 9:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was I sexually assaulted?
Replies: 3
Views: 335

Re: Was I sexually assaulted?

I'm glad you felt safe confiding in us here! It can absolutely be difficult to even consider talking about this with other people, and you're right that assault within the context of a romantic relationship still isn't treated as legitimate by a lot of people. That being said, you still deserve supp...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 8:14 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?
Replies: 7
Views: 199

Re: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?

You're very welcome!

You know, if you're both having a lot of anxiety around this, then it would be sound to take a step back from sexual activity and only do sexual things where you both feel completely informed on what the risks actually are and comfortable with with the level of risk involved.
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 7:46 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?
Replies: 7
Views: 199

Re: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?

Hi Brian, There is not a risk of pregnancy in this scenario. Sperm are fragile and need specific conditions in order to potentially co-create a pregnancy, and they just aren't going to survive the transfer from penis to hand to vagina, let alone if there are more stops along the way or if you wiped ...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 7:39 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A normal or abusive friendship
Replies: 5
Views: 192

Re: A normal or abusive friendship

Ah, okay, I think I misunderstood, thank you for clarifying. So, it is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone who's your friend. Some people may make that a more casual arrangement (that's what the term "friends with benefits" refers to), while to others having a friend they w...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 6:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A normal or abusive friendship
Replies: 5
Views: 192

Re: A normal or abusive friendship

Hi Mika, I think that would also be a helpful thing to communicate to her if you choose to talk to her about this; that is, that you like being her friend and your friendship is important to you. But I also think that if you feel like your sexual interest in her is fading or isn't that strong, it ma...
by Sam W
Mon May 13, 2024 9:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Concern
Replies: 3
Views: 206

Re: Concern

Hi Skybushh, I think this goes back to the issue of their being some deeper things around mental health, self-worth, and negative self talk that are best addressed with a therapist. In your sessions with them, have the two of you ever discussed specific things to do or try when you notice negative s...
by Sam W
Sat May 11, 2024 10:21 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can’t feel sensitive touching my own skin
Replies: 7
Views: 397

Re: I can’t feel sensitive touching my own skin

Hi Azulin, You know, from the sound of it, it seems like masturbation is enjoyable for you even if how your body responds to touch during it is a bit different than you expected it to be. If so, my suggestion would be just to accept that that's how your body reacts, rather than trying to troubleshoo...
by Sam W
Sat May 11, 2024 10:16 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was I sexually assaulted?
Replies: 3
Views: 335

Re: Was I sexually assaulted?

Hi blckholesun89, I want to start by saying that, ultimately, you get to be the boss of how you refer to what happened, or to yourself. We're each the expert on our own experiences and our feelings about those experiences, and that includes whether or not we feel ready or comfortable calling them by...
by Sam W
Sat May 11, 2024 9:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Double vaginal penetration
Replies: 3
Views: 163

Re: Double vaginal penetration

Hi GenuineL, So, the thing to keep in mind with those comments you're hearing from guys is that they're not based in any real understanding of how the vaginal canal actually works . It's a muscle, when we put something inside of it, it constricts to hold what is inside of it. When we remove whatever...
by Sam W
Fri May 10, 2024 7:29 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Did it count?
Replies: 6
Views: 351

Re: Did it count?

Hi Stone, I'm glad we were able to offer you support, and that you still feel safe overall in your community! One thing I do want to say is that, unfortunately,I think there's a good chance this will be a repeat behavior from him. I say that for a few reasons. One is that he already seems to have a ...
by Sam W
Fri May 10, 2024 7:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: okra
Replies: 2
Views: 215

Re: okra

I want to add that, for future reference, this is a really good overview of what does, and does not, interfere with hormonal birth control: Something You Can Worry About Less: Interference and Hormonal Birth Control (you'll notice Okra is not included on that list).
by Sam W
Thu May 09, 2024 7:59 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Did it count?
Replies: 6
Views: 351

Re: Did it count?

Hi Stone, In addition to what Caitlineve said, I want to suggest that going forward, this is someone you want to avoid sharing a space with where you and he are alone or where there isn't adult supervision. He seems to use those situations as places where he tries to manipulate or otherwise get peop...
by Sam W
Tue May 07, 2024 9:32 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: break up
Replies: 7
Views: 362

Re: break up

That's a really, really common way to feel after a break-up (or, honestly, after any big life change that leaves us feeling sad or upset). But, as cliche as it is, there's a lot of truth in the idea that time goes a long way towards these things hurting less; it may not happen as fast as we'd like, ...
by Sam W
Tue May 07, 2024 9:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: break up
Replies: 7
Views: 362

Re: break up

Hi naurmi, I'm sorry, break-ups are seldom easy, even if they were mutually agreed on and ultimately for the best. And if you've been dating someone awhile, it can be really, really disorienting to have them no longer be a part of your life. If you haven't already read it, I really like this piece o...
by Sam W
Tue May 07, 2024 7:03 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: cosca + ocd
Replies: 5
Views: 498

Re: cosca + ocd

Okay! Here are a few different starting places. Some of them are more resource round-ups with suggestions of workbooks and similar you could look into using, and some are collections of different exercises and techniques to help you address OCD thought patterns: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/d...
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 9:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Chances of pregnancy
Replies: 6
Views: 271

Re: Chances of pregnancy

Yes, as I said in my initial answer, as long as there is at least one layer of clothing present, pregnancy cannot occur. As you may have noticed in other posts, the reason we don't want to go in circles with users when talking about pregnancy risk is that offering that reassurance over and over agai...
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 8:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Chances of pregnancy
Replies: 6
Views: 271

Re: Chances of pregnancy

Got it, thank you for clarifying. And no, there is no chance of pregnancy from this. It may help to read more about what IS needed for pregnancy to occur: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide . If you two are still feeling nervous about this, your next step would be to go through this guide we wro...
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 8:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Chances of pregnancy
Replies: 6
Views: 271

Re: Chances of pregnancy

Hi Kanu, As long as there is at least one layer of clothing between genitals, pregnancy cannot occur. So, there was no risk in this instance. Too, ejaculation is generally something we can feel and see, so you would have known if you ejaculated onto her underwear (that would not change the risk, but...
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 7:35 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: I need help?
Replies: 4
Views: 158

Re: I need help?

Hi CasWasHere, Ooof, if you've been having a run of health issues, I can see why noticing something unfamiliar going on with your breast would lead you straight to "great, something else is going wrong!" Since it's gone away and you're not noticing other symptoms, I agree that it's unlikel...
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 7:24 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Potential pregnancy risks
Replies: 3
Views: 178

Re: Potential pregnancy risks

That's correct! If you think about the base of a condom, the ring there takes at least a little force to be able to stretch open, and pubic hair just can't apply that kind of force.
by Sam W
Mon May 06, 2024 7:19 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?
Replies: 8
Views: 12581

Re: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Hi avocadomorning, I'm sorry that this situation is causing you so much stress. Since it's a similar situation to the one at the start of this post, does the advice Sofi or myself gave previously offer any help? Too, if it's an option, you could also ask the person you had sex with if she knows her ...