Search found 9002 matches

by Sam W
Tue May 21, 2024 7:41 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 371

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

Got it. I do think it's worth looking into the other resources she could refer you to, including other therapists, to see if some have a sliding scale or are otherwise affordable; when we're dealing with something like depression, it's common to have periods of time where it doesn't feel as severe o...
by Sam W
Tue May 21, 2024 7:31 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: never thought of being bisexsual before ...
Replies: 4
Views: 148

Re: never thought of being bisexsual before ...

So, even if we're close to someone, they still need to check with us before doing something sexual with us; even when we're dating someone, we still have to ask before doing something sexual (and if they're just sitting or laying there rather than actively, positively engaged in what's happening, we...
by Sam W
Tue May 21, 2024 7:27 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 371

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

You're welcome! Did she happen to say why any of the services she could refer you to for individual therapy were not free like she is? Or is there something specific about her that allows her not to charge for clients? Regardless, if she ends up not being able to refer you to someone free or low cos...
by Sam W
Tue May 21, 2024 6:59 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 371

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

Okay! So, if this is the same therapist who initially brought up the idea that you might be dealing with depression, I would say something like "you mentioned you think I might have depression, can we talk more about that, and can we focus our sessions on how I could learn to manage it?" I...
by Sam W
Tue May 21, 2024 6:38 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: never thought of being bisexsual before ...
Replies: 4
Views: 148

Re: never thought of being bisexsual before ...

Hi ellieww,

So, while we can certainly talk about how people come to understand their sexual orientation, I want to check first: was this interaction with your friend something you consented to? Or is this something she did without checking with you first?
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 1:58 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: feeling behind
Replies: 9
Views: 311

Re: feeling behind

That's a tricky one, because the only way to know if a person is a potentially a good partner for us (or a good friend, for that matter) is to interact with them and see how we get along. But it can also help to know that having those interactions where we get to know people is a skill, and like any...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 1:04 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 371

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

Hi PomPom, In a previous post, you mentioned you've been seeing a psychologist who suggested you might have a depression diagnosis. If you're still seeing that person, I think it's time to have a more in-depth talk about that diagnosis and what steps you can take to manage it. I say that because wha...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 12:42 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Concern with anatomy
Replies: 6
Views: 386

Re: Concern with anatomy

Absolutely. Are you able to tell me if that force was in the course of an assault? Or something else?
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 8:47 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: feeling behind
Replies: 9
Views: 311

Re: feeling behind

This is a really good starting place for anxiety related resources! Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources . Too, if you decide you want to look into more formal support like therapy, we can help you figure out how to start that process. If you could snap your fingers and make it happen, what thi...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 8:37 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexual activities feel underwhelming
Replies: 5
Views: 740

Re: Sexual activities feel underwhelming

If sex isn't appealing at all right now, then I agree that taking a break is a good choice to make. It also gives you the chance to explore other forms of intimacy with your partner, since there are lots of ways of having intimate interactions that have nothing to do with sex (this article goes into...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 8:28 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: feeling behind
Replies: 9
Views: 311

Re: feeling behind

Got it. If this is something that happens in multiple areas of your life, then it might be worth it to find some resources and support around anxiety, including possibly talking with a therapist; when we have a pattern of overthinking lots of things to the point of paralysis, that can sometimes indi...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 8:11 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: feeling behind
Replies: 9
Views: 311

Re: feeling behind

Oof, that sounds really exhausting and frustrating! Do you find you're generally prone to overthinking about everything (or nearly everything)? Just in social situations? Or is it a thing that happens to you solely when it comes to dating?
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 7:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'm just testing the water
Replies: 1
Views: 127

Re: I'm just testing the water

Hi TaylorJames, My recommendations would actually be these two pieces on communicating with your partner and figuring out what activities both people are excited to try and which ones are off limits: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist , Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Tal...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 7:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: feeling behind
Replies: 9
Views: 311

Re: feeling behind

Hi robotgirl210, I want to start by saying that, while it can feel very much like you're "behind" other people when it comes to sex and dating, the reality is that plenty of people reach their twenties without having had any dating experience. In fact, it's such a common occurrence that we...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 7:24 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.
Replies: 11
Views: 371

Re: I’m not sure if i’m bisexual, but i’m already hating it.

Hi PomPom, I want to link something Heather talked about above to something I mentioned in a previous conversation you had here on the boards. That is, how about taking the question of what your orientation might be completely out of the equation and focusing instead on if and how you want to procee...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 7:12 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Concern with anatomy
Replies: 6
Views: 386

Re: Concern with anatomy

Hi Jax-in-the-box, So, while there are conditions like vaginismus where painful insertion of anything into the vaginal canal is a symptom, right now it sounds more like your friend is having a really common experience, which is that if we're not aroused or relaxed, inserting things into the vaginal ...
by Sam W
Mon May 20, 2024 6:52 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Random question
Replies: 1
Views: 92

Re: Random question

Hi 4639449, Thank you for moving this over from text, I do think this a better fit in terms of our direct services as a place to have this conversation! So, while "normal" isn't a super helpful concept when it comes to sex (because our experiences and sexualities are so varied), I will say...
by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 10:19 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: feel like a fake lesbian
Replies: 3
Views: 142

Re: feel like a fake lesbian

I'm glad you're feeling better and that you felt safe processing this here! And I agree with you; you know yourself and your sexual orientation better than anyone else, and you're the boss of what words you use to describe it!
by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 10:16 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexual activities feel underwhelming
Replies: 5
Views: 740

Re: Sexual activities feel underwhelming

Hi forzarg, I hear on that worry that if inserting fingers has been painful, a sexual health exam is likely to be as well. It still might be sound to schedule an appointment, both so that you can find out if there is a physical component to the pain, as well as because, since you're sexually active,...
by Sam W
Sat May 18, 2024 8:33 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: feel like a fake lesbian
Replies: 3
Views: 142

Re: feel like a fake lesbian

Hi kukiromu, It sounds like this is really stressing you out, but I actually think you answered your own question when you said this: "that label brings me a lot of joy and comfort." What that tells me is that lesbian as an identity is the one that resonates with you, your feelings, and yo...
by Sam W
Thu May 16, 2024 9:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was I sexually assaulted?
Replies: 3
Views: 389

Re: Was I sexually assaulted?

I'm glad you felt safe confiding in us here! It can absolutely be difficult to even consider talking about this with other people, and you're right that assault within the context of a romantic relationship still isn't treated as legitimate by a lot of people. That being said, you still deserve supp...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 8:14 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?
Replies: 7
Views: 299

Re: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?

You're very welcome!

You know, if you're both having a lot of anxiety around this, then it would be sound to take a step back from sexual activity and only do sexual things where you both feel completely informed on what the risks actually are and comfortable with with the level of risk involved.
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 7:46 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?
Replies: 7
Views: 299

Re: Pregnant from fingering and taking Plan B?

Hi Brian, There is not a risk of pregnancy in this scenario. Sperm are fragile and need specific conditions in order to potentially co-create a pregnancy, and they just aren't going to survive the transfer from penis to hand to vagina, let alone if there are more stops along the way or if you wiped ...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 7:39 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A normal or abusive friendship
Replies: 5
Views: 231

Re: A normal or abusive friendship

Ah, okay, I think I misunderstood, thank you for clarifying. So, it is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone who's your friend. Some people may make that a more casual arrangement (that's what the term "friends with benefits" refers to), while to others having a friend they w...
by Sam W
Tue May 14, 2024 6:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A normal or abusive friendship
Replies: 5
Views: 231

Re: A normal or abusive friendship

Hi Mika, I think that would also be a helpful thing to communicate to her if you choose to talk to her about this; that is, that you like being her friend and your friendship is important to you. But I also think that if you feel like your sexual interest in her is fading or isn't that strong, it ma...