Hi StellaOs, It's really common for people who have or need abortions to also be grappling with the feeling of "I never expected this to happen." On top of that, you're in a state where you have to add an 8 hour drive into the mix, which is an added level of burden that, in a fair world, y...

A powerful new piece from guest writer, Jahia LaSangoma: being babygirl

Hi Anika, While it's true that a lot of people find clitoral stimulation pleasurable or to be what helps them reach orgasm, there aren't really any "supposed tos" when it comes to bodies and pleasure. What does and does not feel good to each of us is incredibly varied, so it helps to focus...

Hi PomPom, So, if it's hit the point where harming yourself feels like a Plan B, then the first thing I'd like you to do is call/text the relevant hotline here: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/. That's extra-true if, at some future point, those thought start being more of a concrete...

Open!

Do you have people you can reach out to in moments when you're lonely? Or is part of what contributes to that loneliness the feeling that there isn't anyone you could reach out to? I will say that feeling down, vulnerable, or otherwise in need of comfort after sex or masturbation is a more common ex...

Here's the link if you need it: https://chat.scarleteen.com/index.php/chat/start

It's open!

It does, if you're still available!

Hi Crow, Thank you for those additional details, they're all really helpful! There are actually two paths I think are helpful to take in this conversation. The first has to do with the connection between regression and orgasm. When you say you end up feeling like a child, what does that entail? Is i...

Hi olivercuellar, Given everything you're describing, I think abstaining from sex for the foreseeable future is the kindest choice for yourself. Since your therapist is someone who is clearly comfortable discussing sexual topics, have you and they talked about this situation and what might be causin...

Hi phenolphtalein,

What times are you available to chat today? Too, if there ends up not being a good time for us to open it to meet with you today, it's open for its usual Friday hours tomorrow.

Volunteer Orion brings us the scoop on over the counter birth control pills! Over the Counter Birth Control Pills! Finally!

Hi Donnwannago, I am so, so happy to hear this update! It must be such a relief to know you won't be forced to leave a safe home for an incredibly dangerous one, and to see that all of the work you and your family did to advocate for your well being actually made a difference. I'm SO glad you'll be ...

With being remembered after we die, I do think you're onto something in terms of thinking about it as a matter of why we're remembered and by who, rather than being widely remembered. I'd say the vast majority of us aren't remembered beyond the people who knew us and the communities we're a part of....

Oof, it can really be frustrating to feel like you're having to choose between an unwanted side effect of a medication and the risks of going off the medication or lowering the dose. With those fears about sexual function in the relationship, I think you actually already have you answer to that in y...

Hi lostbutnotfound, It's tricky, because how people experience and describe orgasm does tend to vary, and we know that the way an orgasm feels can vary not only from person to person, but for a given person from instance to instance. It might help to give this piece a read, if you haven't already, a...

Hi kaualves2, In addition to what Kier said, when a condom breaks it's going to be noticeable; you'll see the break, and in some cases one or both partners will feel it happen. So, if you didn't notice anything wrong with it when you removed it, then you can assume it did its job. Since pregnancy is...

Hi dazzlerazzle, I'm glad you've had at least some positive help from therapists around self-worth and body image! Are you still seeing the one who gave you that advice you found useful? Or someone who you find similarly beneficial to work with. I'm not going to engage with a lot of the conversation...

Hi Amazingstar344, So, I think it may be worth looking into some more formal counseling around the abuse, especially if this has been your experience of sex with both your current partner and your exes. One of the places where trauma from sexual abuse can make itself known is in our sexual interacti...

I'm glad the article was helpful! If you're comfortable doing so, I'd try broaching this topic with your therapist, especially since they've asked about it. Trauma affects our lives in all sorts of ways, and so part of addressing that trauma can be digging into the way it's playing out in our relati...

You're welcome, and I'm glad to hear you have support! In therapy, have you been able to talk about the interaction between trauma and your desire to be sexual with your girlfriend? I really love this piece of ours on intimacy: Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots . It's a deeper look at ...

Hi Gabby_06, I want to start by saying I'm sorry both for the fact that you experienced abuse, but also for the fact that the fallout from it is influencing you now. You mention that you came to understand the abuse as such about 3 years ago. Did you receive any support around that realization, eith...

Hi Coolgirl1219, I think you're right that focusing on having an orgasm is adding to the pressure! And pressure is basically the enemy of pleasure, so that creates this loop where you're focused on orgasm, but you're putting pressure on yourself, which makes orgasm less likely, which can make you pu...

Hi Amazingstar344,

In addition to all of Andy's good questions, since you mentioned that there are recordings of you and your partner that you watch, are those recordings things you have possession of?