I'm not from the US :) I'm British by origin, but settled in continental Europe. Still have a pretty big stake in US politics, though, because the US is a major world power, and because of the colleagues and users here who are in the US. No-one in Europe should be judging the US as a whole, because ...

Just wanted to throw a few thoughts in about how to deal with the therapist issue. Things that might help, depending on you personally: - printing off a reliable list - perhaps from the relevant licencing board for where you are, or perhaps from somewhere that has good-quality specialist knowledge a...

Welcome to the boards. When taken correctly - which it sounds like you have been - the pill is very effective at preventing pregnancy. No method of birth control is 100% effective, though, so there is a small chance that the pill can fail. In typical use - how people usually take it, including somet...

I really really wanted to see a woman in one of the most powerful roles in the world. As a little kid, I lived in a country with a Queen and a female Prime Minister: the ceremonial Head of State and the political leader, both women. Being a country's leader was a job for a woman, was a job that coul...

Welcome to the boards! Breakthrough bleeding and spotting is a common side-effect of hormonal contraception, including the patch. It can happen any time that someone's taking it, but it's especially common in the first few months of using a new method, because your body needs time to adjust to the s...

Hi, Scarlett - I can pick up with you if you like. I totally agree with you about the amount of wisdom and caring in Heather! All the staff here learn a lot from Heather - speaking just for myself, I'd say bucketloads, really - so I hope some of what you like so much gets filtered down :) As with an...

Welcome to the boards. Are you up-to-date with your sexual healthcare, including STI testing? With bleeding from any kind of sex - and fingering is a kind of sex - it's important to check that out and make sure an infection isn't the cause. Do you need any help or information about where to get that...

Missing 3 pills does impact how effective your pill is likely to be, and it means you can't rely on it for contraceptive protection. Because you made a mistake with your pill-taking and don't have your pill's full coverage, this is a situation where using emergency contraception is a good option for...

Is this a combined pill (progestin and estrogen)? If so, this timing is unlikely to have had much of an impact. It's sounding like the equivalent of you having one late pill: having a bigger gap than you should between pills, but not a whole day extra gap (that'd be a missed pill). So, I'd suggest g...

I agree with Heather about fear of the unknown often underlying bias! Jumping off BiKinksterBoy's "serves as ammo for people to pointlessly debate", I was thinking of the times bigots have argued that something or someone isn't homophobic "because they're not afraid of gay people"...

No worries at all about the time! This conversation is here whenever it's useful to you, and it's good to take the time you need to think about things. That's some really big and meaningful stuff you're digging into. It speaks very well of you that you're able - and willing - to use something like t...

I have a couple of extra thoughts around this, in case it's any use to you, Atonement. I wonder if your hospital has any written policies for your rights as staff when a patient is potentially or already unsafe for you, and any framework for what staff are supposed to do about that? Mistreatment by ...

I'd often say that we need better words for many, many things! Historically and into the present, a lot of language - or, more specifically, most language which is given status, is recorded, is spread - is created and controlled by people with power and status. Which means that groups without power ...

Welcome to the boards! There isn't really one way to "do" a relationship :) In any relationship, there's a mixture of different things creating it and making it its unique self: you, what you want, and what feels good to you; the person you're in a relationship with, what they want and wha...

Welcome to the messageboards! First, changes in desire are a very natural human thing, and will happen to everyone at various times in all our lives. Things like big life changes and hormonal changes can often influence someone's level of sexual desire. It's unlikely that her libido will never chang...

No, that's not how artificial insemination works: artificial insemination procedures don't involve any semen samples going in anyone's mouth. Semen samples are dealt with and stored in very particular, precise ways. One of our volunteers worked in a clinic and wrote about it: Who's Afraid of Sperm C...

I see. Oops! :) It's likely obvious now (isn't it always, after the fact!), but for the future, it's good to check the expiry date on medication before you take it out of the pharmacy and before you take it, to make sure. So yep, I'd suggest taking the pills and the situation to a pharmacist to see ...

Oh, and also: you'll want to keep the expired pills and packet until this is completely resolved and you've got replacements, so that you can prove you need the replacements - but after it's completely resolved, don't throw the pills away or into any waste water/sewer system, that's very unsafe for ...

Did you get these pills fairly recently (so, around or after the time they expired), and are you able to go to the place where you got them? If you were given expired or nearly-expired pills, that's a big mess-up on the part of that person/place, and they should sort it out for you by replacing the ...

capablehippy, I know you said you need a few days to figure some things out, so please take whatever time you need. I don't want to swamp you, so I'm not putting a bunch more things in here, just small bits that might help where you're at. No-one hates anyone here. Your boyfriend and friend are abso...

I just knew it was wrong Yep. It's wrong because you're describing pressuring someone to do some kind of sexual behaviour. It doesn't matter whether that's with you or with someone else, it's still sexual pressure. It doesn't matter whether you had some earnest wish or intent for that sexual behavi...

I think there's a big, big difference between what's "normal" in porn and what's common and acceptable in the world in general. The vast majority of porn is made for (cis, straight) men, and very definitely with the male gaze in mind: that is, no matter who might be actually watching, ther...

Your sister's up to date. The most recent research indicates that almost all antibiotics (apart from those used to treat TB) have no impact on the pill's effectiveness. However, it's extremely difficult to disprove with absolute certainty: it's very hard to show, scientifically, that there can be no...

Hi Tigger, so, yes, I agree, that wasn't a wise thing to get into. I think it's important to say too that he was really out of line here: his own monogamy agreements (presuming those were in place) were his, and his responsibility to keep. It's always a thoroughly dodgy sign if someone pursues and s...

I very much agree with Heather that this guy knows why you're leaving and knows what he did. They nearly-nearly-always do, no matter what they then say and do. His later unpleasant email demonstrates that he knows. This kind of harrassment functions as a power play from them. Your detaching yourself...